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Monthly Archives: February 2009

Ladebelle isn’t feeling well, but I hope she still shares. Still, pray for her wellness.

Starting with I, the unthankful one:

  • That NEWBO’s Special that aired last night.. made me want to shoot myself in the face. My thoughts.
  • I’ve been having a great week. I’m even harder on my workout grind. I love it.
  • I will be starting the Daniel Fast in about 3 Weeks. I’m scared yet excited.
  • I’m looking hard for jobs in D.C. If you know something, share something.
  • I’m also looking for tips on housing. If you know something, or someone who isn’t crazy and needs a roommate, share something.
  • I’m going to try to stop cursing so much. i’m trying to drastically reduce the amount that I sin. LOL

That’s all for me today folks!

Thanks! (or NoThanks)

What’s your week in review looking like?

Back when Kanye was a man who made real sense:

(Get past the silly intro)

This was so my favorite song of this album upon first listen. Then the album became just…amazing all around. Listening to this almost makes me mad at Kanye for not putting the good stuff out anymore. (Now see here, I did like 808’s.)

But this morning my trainer was telling me about his coffee addiction and it got me to thinking about how hard it is to stop our addictions. And it’s not always the things that are meant to be addicting. We get how a smoker can’t stop; it’s a chemical addiction. Some people are addicted to shopping, addicted to the internet *raises hand*, addicted to their crackberry *stands up and leaves the room crying*, addicted to sex, addicted to HIM or HER. Our addiction soon becomes our obsession.

It starts off healthy and fun. You like having something to run to, you like having something to hide behind, you like having that person to chase or to love. Then all it takes is one hit of reality and the obsession sets in. You go to work without your phone and you spend the whole day miserable. You went to buy those *Red Bottom* shoes and your C.C. declined. He didn’t call you today. She didn’t stop by after work. Comcast is having issues and your internet isn’t working. This is when the tides turn.

You fight to do all that you can to make sure you NEVER feel that again. You pick up the extra job so you can supplement your spending habits, your phone becomes your third hand, you call, text, email him or her nonstop to make sure they know you LUVVVV them and you just want to make sure everything is ok.

This downward spiral is the worst, but you Just.Can’t.Stop. It’s almost like it sets off endorphins in your body. There’s an adrenalin rush that goes through you at the thought of not having your addiction. It defines you and the addiction itself becomes your newest….obsession.

Outside of my phone and my sexy Macbook, I used to be addicted to him, but I weened myself off. I tell myself never to let someone get *that* close again until we’ve jumped the broom, but you never know, addiction loves to sneak up on you.

addiction |əˈdik sh ən|
the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity

  • Dependency
  • Devotion to
  • Obsession
  • Compulsion

What’s your addiction?


happy hump day everyone! 

today’s blog won’t be a typical rant per normal, rather a directed rant instead. i received the following question from one of our readers:

does your man come close to what u imagine a man to be? and does that image allow u to say fuck it at his short comings?

you know, it’s funny that this question came up. yesterday i was chatting with a friend of mine about how he wants for his marriage to be and he touched on something similar to this. he said that he wanted his wife to want him regardless of all his flaws and still want to love him and cater to him and he would do the same. now that i’m done reminiscing, let me answer the questions.

as was announced with my 5000th tweet, i’m a divorcee. my wusband is one of the most wonderful men in the world and he will make some woman the luckiest woman in the world–but that just couldn’t be me. as with most women, i had a mold that i wanted him to fit in. however, i don’t believe in changing people to be what you want them to be so i had to let him go free. 

to answer the second question, seeing as though our marriage didn’t last, i don’t think that i could look over his shortcomings and i think that he deserves someone who wants him as he is and how most of us are–in progress. 

phew! that was kind of hard to answer but now readers, it’s your turn to answer the question. do you have a “type” or specific qualities that you look for? what are some of the things that you are unwilling to compromise on? or simply give feedback! 


this is my time (thankfully)


“in progress herself” ladebelle

Remember this?

*dances around*

I used to wake up on Saturdays to the sounds of Al Green or Luther or Tina Turner and the smell of Pine Sol. Those memories about have me in tears. My mom would blast that good music while cleaning the house. I’d get up and meet her in the kitchen, dance around with her and then eat me some good cereal before my cartoons started up.

Now, this is what is supposed to wake me up.

I’m not going to use this time to talk about my love/hate relationship with S Beezy and all ATL music. I’m just using that song as an example of how things have changed and how sad it makes me.

The state of maintstream music (i’ll just say Black Music.. because Coldplay, Oasis, most European groups, etc, still have my heart) today makes me really sad and makes me feel old. I’m too young to have abandoned the radio and the clubs. I’m too young to be out of the loop with the newest sounds, dances, and music related trends. I work at a bar on the weekends, so I’m often exposed to it unwillingly and it’s always a shock to my senses. Hip Hop today is all about the beats. Lyrically it sounds worse than a small 3 y/o trying to string together sentences to let their parents know they just pooped a big one. It’s a mess to say the least. Hip Hop has always been about the sound, but it was just one element. The DJ handled his/her part, the MC did his/her thing, the Grafitti artist was tagging in the background, and the dancer was body rockin. Today, Casio and Autotunes rules the record and the “MC” is saaaaaaaaaannnngggin like thissssssss “yeeaaaaaa gettin monnnnnnanaaaayyy ooooooohhhhhhhh” WTHeck!? Not to mention the dances these days. Stankey Leg? Swag Surfin? Superman/Batman/Spiderman/Juwannaman/I’m not really a man- A Hoe? Crank Dat Anything-you-can-think-of-in-30-seconds?

What’s really going on? I almost can’t take it, and it’s turning this 24 y/o into a serious homebody! But before I get beside myself and forget where I’m from. I give you a lil bit of my homestate flavor and when I’m home in FL you will see me hit it.

The Wu-Tang (the song is I just wanna f*** FL twist on B-more style)

Bing Ahhh (my fave)

But some of my fave artists I listen to that are mostly underground are: Slum Village, anything touched by J Dilla (RIP), Tribe, Older Kanye, Drake, Erykah Badu, Dwele, Eric Roberson, Viktor Duplaix, Amel Larrieux, Koop, The Cinematic Orchestra, Joe Budden, Common, 88-Keys, The Roots, Pharrell!, N.E.R.D., The Lady Jill Scott, Foreign Exchange, Old Little Brother, Daedelus, and the list goes on and on!

What y’all listenin to?


hey guys!

just a quick admin note…

as some of you may know, this blog was started as a place to vent and rant on whatever it is that i would see in my life that needed venting or ranting on. i recruited JG* to come and rant with me and we became the “ranting children”. although we do rant here about anything from fashion faux paus to rabbit effing, we both have other things that we do write about in different arenas. so with that, i would like to highlight some of the other blogs that we either write for or have started so that you have the opportunity to read some different things from us.

ladebelle’s writings:

  • JG* Runs the City – on this blog i share with the world information on my workouts, nutrition, and different causes that i’m involved in and believe in
  • SH Collective – this blog was started by ainz neal and here i’m writing on fashion, makeup, and all things pretty for both men and women

JG*’s writing:

Hey Hey. It’s really awesome that Ladebelle and I have branched out and are really active in the blogging community. Y’all should be excited that you saw us here first and you guys are our first true fans. 🙂

  • JG* Runs the City – A blog dedicated to working out and getting fit for big races all for a cause. This launched Ladies Run The City and the awesome Ladebelle is a member of that network too! Ladies get fine in 09 and raise dimes! (oh yea!)
  • The Mogul Group – Major fashion & lifestyle blog started by The Mogul Group. They are the who’s who of Atlanta and I’m really excited that they asked me to get on board with them. I write about sex, relationships, current events and politics. I’m one of their feature writers.
  • The Fresh Xpress– The pulse of Young Black America. What started off as an “interesting” relationship blossomed into me writing community related blogs for them. Every now and then you may see a post on love & relationships.

we hope you guys have the opportunity to check out some of the other blogs that we write for and are enlightened as well!!!


ladebelle & JG*

**and now back to the regularly scheduled blogging**

as I was sitting in ruby Tuesdays with my mom, I happened to notice this older black woman sitting behind my mother. she wore thick glasses with an older frame style, a hat, a puffy vest, and was dressed down overall.


the ugly duckling was actually more beautiful then the others

the ugly duckling was actually more beautiful then the others



but as I sat and watched her, she went from a dumpy older lady to this beautiful woman. she was very polite about ordering her food and when she smiled at the waiter, her youthful dimples were revealed. as I watched her finish her meal and begin to get herself ready to go, I was reminded of the beauty in simplicity and the average.


great movie

great movie



on thursday of last week, sav and I took the girls to see “America the beautiful” which is a documentary on the standards of beauty in America. it was truly an amazing film but more importantly, it teaches to appreciate all things as beautiful, even the things we think lack beauty or take for granted.

there were many beautiful women in ruby Tuesdays. most of them were covered in makeup and had all these tight fitting clothing. but I chose to take notice of the not so obvious beautiful woman and that offered me a new perspective on things in my life period.

so dear readers, what do you think if this? what do you guys think of the standards of beauty that have been set before us? what out of the norm beautiful things do you guys appreciate?

this is my time

— Post From My iPhone


Y’all aint ready

Ms. NoThanks

  • So how about last night at work, I worked an awesome party for a local group Hollyweerd (who I LOVE). It was full of celebs and all that. L.A. Ried, The Clipse, DJ Khaled (who I didn’t recognize and had to ask twice what his name was, then I figured it out). But I was so irritated.

  • I was irritated because I lost T-Pain’s Mama’s credit card. I honestly think she put it in her purse or something and will find it later today, but whatever. I still felt pretty bad. And she took away her tip for me. 😦
  • Why was she (she told me her name was Mama Pain), Lil Wayne’s Mama, and a bunch of other oldies in there last night?
  • Why is Mama Pain so much better looking than T-Pain and why won’t she help him?
  • Why am I taller than Pusha T?
  • Why when I asked DJ Khaled what his name was (twice) he said it like he does on his mixes.
  • I made a grip of money last night though So I can’t even be mad.
  • I’ve been getting hazed up by my Church dance ministry leaders and it’s kinda hard for me to keep silent about it. Won’t someone think about the dancers?
  • I’m so sleepy. I think a work nap will be an all day affair for me.
  • Last night this complete random tried so hard to “holla” at me. But his first approach to me was to tell me he had bad breath and needed mints. I gave him lemons and he then went on to try to “holla”. Wanna know what I said?


ladebelle’s random facts:

  • mabelle is coming in town today so i had to hide all my crazy sex games and empty alcohol bottles… jk… kinda…
  • i finally managed to put away ALLLLLL my clean clothes and am currently working on my shoes whilst finishing up laundry **sigh**
  • i was plagued by the most awfullest migraine monday after hitting up a jam session… related? i hope not…
  • we took the girls from our mentoring program to see “America the Beautiful” last nite. i highly recommend everyone watch it. it’s already on my netflix. it’s about the standards of beauty in america. it’s pretty shocking.
  • my cubbie neighbor’s kennel cough is getting worse… like really… gross
  • surprisingly, this was a mellow week for me. my inner rockstar must be in hibernation from all the partying and bullshitting that i was doing before… thank the Lord too cuz i needed a break!
  • we’re doing a “biggest loser” contest at work and skinny people have signed up… wtf?!?!?
  • for the first time since i’ve had my iphone, i left it at home. it’s freeing–kinda.

that’s about it guys…


ladebelle & Ms. NoThanks

so as i was working out on tuesday, i was watching the news and they had something on there about “sexting”. this was the first that i had heard of this new phenomena. i did some research while i was chatting the topic of sexting up with ainzneal from twitter and found that i wasn’t the only one who didn’t know about this thing. 

what is sexting?

basically, sexting is sending nude pictures via text message. 




why is sexting such a hot topic right now?

well because these children all now have cell phones are taking naked pictures of themselves and sending them around. **smh** not only is this a problem for any child that actually wants to grow up and make something of themselves, but you can be charged with child pornography if you are caught with these things on your phone from a minor. bananas right?

ladebelle’s commentary on this foolywang

i don’t understand this shit. i’m not hating on people who take naked pix of themselves and email/text them around but i just don’t understand the foresight in doing this. maybe it’s because i was raised by someone who works in the news and created this strong sense of paranoia or maybe it’s because all these sex tapes and naked cell phone pix of the chick from high school musical surfacing but i just can’t rock like that! 

what happens if these kids decide they wanna run for office and then these pictures surface? or what happens if your a 10 time olympic gold metalist and pictures of your unmentionables surface? imagine that embarrassment!!! hell, michael phelps had a picture of him hitting a bong and his endorsements got pulled. that’s MONAAAAAY!!!! 

but this young lady in this video… i mean, what’s there to say… 

**stepping off my soapbox** so dear readers of mine, do you participate in sexting? don’t lie, we’re like crunch fitness “no judgments”. if you do sext, why do you do it? do you fear any repurcussions? if you aren’t a sexter, why don’t you? TALK TO ME!


this is my time


“i have an iphone that doesn’t allow picture messaging for a reason” ladebelle

Wanted to bring back an old post that went up over the holidays and may have been missed. It was a pretty good one, so I want to bring it back to the masses now that everyone is bright eyed and bushy tailed again!

Now on to the good stuff.

Y’all know there is just an undeniable difference between sex with a friend and sex with your lover. Obviously, most people would jump to say that sex with your lover is the best. And, usually I would venture to agree. But let’s break it down. Starting with your lover first.

Sex with your lover:

It’s passionate, he/she knows all the nooks and crannies, and he calls you sexy names like “baby” or “angel” or “madamoiselle”. Ok that might be a little weird but you get the point. He’s running his fingers all gently though your hair. She’s rubbing your back instead of scratching it. You guys mouth kiss (which it’s generally a rule that you do NOT mouth kiss the randoms in the bed lol). You roll around the bed instead of toss around. Even when it’s rough, it’s loving. He stops to ask “baby (angel, madame), are you okay? That didn’t hurt did it?” All followed by a loving kiss on your neck, back, hand. Flowers blossom, birds sing, and rainbows flow from your ass to the ceiling. There really aren’t any embarrassing moments as you guys are close enough to not care. You guys compromise on who sleeps in the wet spot and you even spoon afterwards. Of course this is awesome!

But wait…

Sex with a friend:

You guys are cool, attractive, and it’s all good. He may step to you or you may step to him. But when it goes down, it goes down. You may kiss, but there’s no mouth kissing. Maybe lip biting, but no slips of the tongue straight to the mouth. It aint pretty, but that’s what makes it so good. The passion is animalistic. He may not know all of the nooks and crannies, but he will pull out all the stops to make sure you enjoy yourself. You will too. I mean you want all that Sh*t you talked to be worth it and true. You scratch and he pulls your hair. There are no sexy names that roll of the tongue, just moans and total reckless abandon. You guys bounce all over the bed. You try out all kinds of crazy positions and when those embarrassing moments happen, if y’all are real cool, you can laugh it off and make fun of each other. Sometimes there’s even random funny dialogue during the act that usually would be corny, and it is, but who cares, it’s just your friend. When y’all are done, you are able to just hop up and bounce away for the all important post-sex pee (PSP) and all is well with the world.

Ahhhh these all sound like the good. But what about the bad and the ugly. Got that for ya too.

Sex with your lover:

Sometimes this can be boring. You guys may have tried it all, and get comfortable. Every night it goes like this: Kiss, Kiss, clothes come off, grabs a boob, lick, head, missionary, and if it’s a good night, either Cowgirl or Doggy next, or if it’s a holiday, all three. In that order. And while sometimes he may smack your booty or she may dig her nails in, it’s almost like it’s part of the script. Like [insert random act of ruffness here]. Y’all mouth kiss so much, it takes away from his ability to appropriately thrust while in missionary, and the lady’s ability to really control the ride. I said earlier that there aren’t any embarrassing moments, but if something gross does happen you do kinda feel bad because you guys expect these moments to be perfect. You guys barely break a sweat and sometimes y’all spoon directly afterwards and all that stickiness can sometimes be annoying. All that being sweet, romantic and cuddly sometimes makes it hard for the lady to sneak away for the absolutely most important act of the PSP. You don’t want to ruin the moment though, so you lie there festering in all the harmful germs. LOL

But wait….

Sex with your friend:

It’s wild, it’s crazy, and it can leave you sorer than hell. See he may not stop to ask “are you okay? That doesn’t hurt does it?” And while you’re in it to win it, and hey you may even like a little pain, you are having to grit your teeth through the drilling he’s giving you. Eight or 10 minutes of it felt great, but now, you are pretty sure you are out oil, and you hate Alaska for Palin and that damn “Drill Baby Drill” slogan. You hair is completely sweated out, your ass is smacked cherry apple red, and his back looks like you clawed your way up his body. It was great during the act, now that it’s over you are beginning to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the war that you just participated in and you are need of the infirmary STAT! If and this is a big if, your friend is hanging around for the evening, the guy tends to leave the wet spot for you when you jump up to take care of the PSP and when you get back, he’s passed out and comfy in the warmth of the bed, while all that’s left for you is a corner of the blanket and the dreaded wet spot. *sigh* You gotta give some to get some.

It goes both ways. I think I’d rather have sex with my lover because that would imply that I have a lover and I’m not single. But damn if I don’t love sex with a friend. Of course these are sweeping generalizations but it’s a blog, so sue me. I say what I want to say. LOL

Also, one could say that the “sex with your lover” that I described could be called “making love” but that just didn’t sound as good in the blog title.




”Blame it on the goose
Got you feeling loose 
Blame it on petron
Got you in the zone

Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol 
Blame it on the a a a a a alchol

Blame it on the vodka 
Blame it on the henny 
Blame it on the blue top
Got you feeling dizzy

Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol 
Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol”


yup... alcohol induced foolishness

yup... alcohol induced foolishness

We’ve all been there. You’re at the club having a good time. One drink turns into one too many drinks and next thing you know you’re acting out of character (or maybe it’s in character—not judgments here).

But here’s the thing that I really hate. I absolutely hate it when people are really serious about blaming their actions on the alcohol.

Scenario: you and your girls are at the club and lets say litika (inspired by slumdog millionaire) is really throwin back those drinks. She’s drinking incredible hulks and long beach tea’s like it’s the purple kool-aid. She’s now incredibly drunk and has managed to pick up some random ass dude. They leave together and you guys do brunch the next day. She gives the run down of what she “remembers” and you guys are now looking at her sideways. And here comes the excuse, “I was so drunk! I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t been drinking.”

BULLSHIT!!! Ok, so maybe you wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t been a fish at the bar but why were you drinking so much?!?! I think that people drink so much so they can do the foolish things that they really want to do under the guise of inebriation. My thing is like this, if you really want to entertain one nite stands and other foolish behavior (no judgments…) just do it! Don’t drink yourself silly so you can “blame it on the alcohol”.


Comments? Thoughts? Drunken stories?


That’s my time…



“naughty by nature not alcohol” ladebelle