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***warning… this post has adult content***

so i figured you folks would be interested in how a conversation between your authors goes… for the record, this is RANTS OF A WILD CHILD so just remember this as you’re reading the randomness of yours truly…

and our conversation went a little something like this:

JG*: yesss!!! I got some ass! LOL 
ladebelle: 
HELL YEAH!!!!
JG*: 
*does the happy dance* 
ladebelle: 
the more important thing is was it GREAT ass
JG*: 
i’m quite pleased
JG*: 
yes it was
JG*: CENSORED

ladebelle: 
excellent… you’ve done well young grasshopper
JG*: CENSORED

ladebelle: CENSORED

JG*: 
yea! 
JG*: CENSORED

JG*: 
lmao
JG*: 
yea* homie put it down
JG*: 
i tell ya
ladebelle: 
man… there’s nothing like some great ass
JG*: CENSORED

ladebelle: 
they are…
JG*: 
had me fooled
ladebelle: 
tsk tsk tsk
JG*: CENSORED

ladebelle: 
it’s been my experience that the big dudes aren’t packing at all and most of the skinny dudes have 3rd legs
ladebelle: my husband
 is of the unordinary hence me marrying him
JG*: 
lmao!
JG*: 
right
JG*: 
i’ve discovered a lot regarding penis size
JG*: 
it’s completely random
ladebelle: 
short men… man
ladebelle: 
short men=tripods
JG*: 
lol amen!
ladebelle: yeah man… 
JG*: 
so how’s today goin?
ladebelle: 
well u kno, at 8:45 am things can’t be too fucked up right?
ladebelle: 
lol
ladebelle: 
i worked out… got to work… and am now farting around trying to look busy
JG*: 
lmao
JG*: 
right
JG*: 
i’m bout to get this ymca membership for the low
ladebelle: 
get that… 
JG*ok.. i think i’m gettin the hang of this twitter thing
ladebelle: 
where is there a ymca?
JG*: 
i’m trying to get twitterberry on my phone
ladebelle: 
excellent… i saw u tweet
JG*: 
luckie street
JG*:
i just discovered how i can see when people reply to m
JG*: 
e*
ladebelle: 
ohhhh… 
ladebelle: 
LOL!
ladebelle: 
(sigh) so special
JG*: 
i know right
ladebelle: 
man… y is it that whenever you work out, you end up more hungry and craving shit u didn’t before?
JG*: 
girl stop
JG*: 
i feel u on that
ladebelle: 
like yesterday i spent all day dreaming about kettle cooked chips
ladebelle: 
how in the hell am i supposed to lose any weight with that shit on my brain?!!?!?
ladebelle: 
ugh
ladebelle: 
and u know, u can really tell i work with a bunch of wf… i love them to death but they have no concept of hot and cold
ladebelle: 
like, it’s in the 30s outside and in the 50s inside our office
ladebelle: 
this shit don’t make NO sense!
JG*: 
lmao!
JG*: 
it’s 50 in here too
JG*: 
i have on a sweater……a hoodie..and a thick ass peacoat
ladebelle: 
and that’s a problem
JG*: 
yes
JG*: 
because i only have on 1 pair of socks
ladebelle: 

JG*: 
lmao
JG*: 
it’s cold enough for 2 pairs
JG*: 
in this bitch
ladebelle: 
i feel u… esp since i have no pairs of socks on
ladebelle: 
but my feet are hot
JG*: 
ummmm ur crazy
JG*: 
lol
ladebelle: 
just a scootch
ladebelle: 
but i’m really cold cuz my hair is still wet
JG*: 
oh no
JG*: 
ur trippin
JG*: 
lol

JG*:don’t be havin me cookin u chicken noodle soup and stuff
ladebelle: 
lol
ladebelle: 
my hair is ALWAYS wet
JG*: 
u r like the internet guru
JG*: 
and i thought i was on my shit
ladebelle: 
that was super random
JG*: 
yes yes it was
JG*: 
and what
JG*: 
lol
ladebelle: 
lol
ladebelle: 
i mean, where did that come from?
JG*: 
the meebo thing
ladebelle: 
ohhhh
ladebelle: 
i didn’t mean to do that but i definitely LOVE meebe
ladebelle: 
*meebo
JG*: 
lol
JG*: 
meeeebo
JG*: 
that’s fun to say
ladebelle: 
… ur special
ladebelle: 
lol
JG*: 
shoot girl shoot
ladebelle: 
www.livestrong.com
ladebelle: 
did u see ur tweet?
JG*: 
lol
JG*: 
wait
JG*: 
which one
ladebelle: 
the one that i said at u
JG*: 
lol
JG*: 
lemme go check it out
ladebelle: 
and quit getting nasty with being nudged… u already got some in reality stop tryna get some virtually!
JG*: 
lmao
JG*: 
i know
JG*: 
this guy just nudged me
JG*but he didn’t know what it meant
JG*: 
lol
ladebelle: 
the silliness of beginner tweeters
JG*: 
i know
JG*: 
we just tweetin all willy nilly
ladebelle: 
lol…so yesterday i was trying to do a video blog but my flip kept dying on me!
JG*: 
LOL 
JG*: 
oooh high tech
JG*: 
i’m over here typin
JG*: 
and u video’in
ladebelle: 
it’s cuz i was feeling lazy and wanted to do something new
JG*: 
lol gotcha
ladebelle: 
however, i will be getting new batteries today
JG*: 
my forehead looks too big
JG*: 
on video
ladebelle: 
lol shut up jen
JG*: 
girl
JG*: 
i have a rhianna
JG*: 
and a tyra
JG*: 
combined
ladebelle: 
rhi rhi make that shit look SUPER hot tho
JG*: 
true
JG*: 
i’m workin on it
JG*: 
lol

please note the following things:

 

  • yes, JG* did in fact begin our conversation with news of her sexual exploits… loves it
  • rhi rhi does have a huge forehead AND works the hell out of it… waaaay better then tyra
  • if you want to follow us on twitter, http://www.twitter.com/ladebelle or http://www.twitter.com/jgeezy14
  • we are the coolest people that you will ever talk to so in case you do wanna chat with us as we make pretend to work, hit us up for our contact info by posting a comment below.
  • although this post does contain some adult language and content, we did have to censor some things… sorry guys…

 

i hope enjoy the randomness that we call conversation!!!

 

btw, this was supposed to be yesterday’s post but we didn’t have the conversation till today (think about it for a sec) and tomorrow’s post will be a video blog of a one madame ladebelle! GET EXCITED!!!!

 

xoxo

ladebelle

so last night as we partied and celebrated an important moment in both our present and history, everyone around me was like, “I’m not going to work/school!!” and in the moment, i fell into not wanting to go to…

but sleeping on something allows you to awake with new revelations and truths…

i’m going to work today and i’m going to work my ass off harder today then i have on any other day. why? it’s not because a black man won the United States presidency.

does this even need a caption?

does this even need a caption?

it’s because of what this man stands for. he triumphed over doubt, death threats, and hundreds of years of a glass ceiling built before him and by upholding his character and integrity, that man inspired a nation to believe in him so much that he shattered that ceiling proving that hard work and dedication go hard in America.

obama didn’t take frivolous time off during his campaign and surely i’m not going to do so now either. he has been such a great demonstration of what it means to have character and integrity and to not compromise it while faced with others who don’t have either to stand on. he is an awesome role model and i’m so happy to have him as one!!! so until i’m president of something screaming out “YES WE CAN”, ladebelle will be at work…

xoxo

ladebelle

 

p.s.

wanted to share my FAVORITE part of obama’s speech last night:

“And tonight, I think about all that she’s seen throughout her century in America — the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can’t, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.”

…so powerful…

so i’m home sick from work today and my loony brother sends me this link that i can somehow relate too…

can anybody else relate?

ok… so this morning i received a message in my honesty box on facebook asking my how it is that i stay so fly… booooy did that make my day!!!! let me clarify that i don’t think that i’m fly all the time however, i do have my days…

but today was definitely not this young lady’s day:

from afar this almost looks ok...

to my dismay... i see that these are actually HOUSE SHOES

to my dismay... i see that these are actually HOUSE SHOES

ok… sorry guys… had to do the close up on this…

so we get on the BUC together and the older lady sitting across from me is clearly as bothered by this situation as i am and she stares at her while she changes into these:

i'm all for fall fashion but it's cold!!! get some tights!!!

i'm all for fall fashion but it's cold!!! get some tights!

i mean from house shoes to peep toe pumps with no tights or nailpolish? there has got to be a limit…

now i’m all for wearing different shoes to travel in… today i had on my trusty lacoste athletic-inspired shoes but not house shoes!!!

(sigh)

people, take this as your warning… i’ve got my iphone and i know how to use it! if you are a walking fashion faux paus, i will catch you!!!

speaking of which, how do we feel about spandex at work? is it appropriate? not appropriate??? TALK TO ME!!!

xoxo

ladebelle

i have officially been prompted twice to update my blog so before there is a third prompting and i begin to feel worse about my lack of blogging, i will blog now!

needless to say, things have been quite hectic in the land of ladebelle… lets start with work (which still sucks). 

work updates…

so last week the crew and i (minus nene) were out in the great state of cali and the lovely (to be read as dirty) city of san francisco… to sum the trip up in one word, i would say it was… hell, who am i kidding? that trip surely can’t be summed up in one word! while out there, we (being the ladies of the pod) were mandated to work 10 hour days minimum… that doesn’t include the 10 block walk to the convention center and back to the hotel. ugh… 

there were a couple of highlights out there…1. all the free booze at the reception; 2. meeting all the people that i regularly communicate with via email or telephone (to be read as all the free booze at the reception). and there are my couple of highlights. 

 

anyone order a mcnasty with flesh eating disease?

anyone order a mcnasty with flesh eating disease?

 

 

now on to the low lights… and there were many… as if it weren’t confirmed before, it is definitely confirmed that we work for the nastiest bastard in the world… he was pushing himself all up on my girl KT, who was beyond grossed out. (on a more serious note, i think we need to file a damn sexual harrassment suite). KT was also the only one to receive popcorn and shit sent by the nastiest person in the world. i mean, what about the rest of us that work hard? is what we do in vain now? ugh… unappreciative prick… sorry, got lost on that one low light there… and on to the one Ms. Patch who has officially upped her annoyingness (yes, it’s a word now) and disrespect with her demand of eye contact after interrupting me without so much of an “excuse me ladebelle”. UGH!!! 

 

BEAT IT CABBAGE PATCH!!!!

BEAT IT CABBAGE PATCH!!!!

 

 

but then the people there were like one big fashion faux pas. i mean, who wears belly shirts to conferences now? soooo inappropriate… and if there’s no flood coming, please leave the high waters at home… in fact, bring them with you so we can burn them… ugh

so now that i’m back and have all this damn work to do from my primary job, mcnasty decides he wants to hassle me about some damn membership calls… right, cuz i got my BA and MBA so i can be a glorified telemarketer. sorry mcnasty, i have a regular job! ugh… the way i wish i could tell him to go jump off a building… 

anywho, enough about the depressing place entitled work…

fall fashion!!!

so i think that fall is one of my favorite fashion seasons… so many colors, new trends, and you don’t have to be a skinny bitch to pull the looks off!!!

as is my tradition, i’ve already colored my hair to a darker, more fall color of red. and i got a snazzy new haircut!

one of the big fall makeup trends is the “bitten lip” look… this means a nice wine color for your lips. so, since i’m trying to save for an iphone (so that i can blog more frequently) i decided to go with a lower priced lip option versus my $15 addiction to MAC. target has this new line of more expensive cosmetics but since i wasn’t dropping $15 for my MAC i sure as hell wasn’t dropping $20 in target for some lip gloss. instead, i bought some l’oreal color riche lip liner in “lasting plum” and some revlon colorstay lipglaze in “overtime wine”. the cool thing about the lip liner is that it comes with a sharpener at the bottom. 

so this morning i put on my lip products with a simple black lined eye and it was instant glamour! and now, at the end of the day, my lip gloss/liner combo is still in full effect without having to touch it up! i’ve had snacks, lunch, drank, talked, etc and it’s still there! nice…

anywho, this was a pretty random post but i posted… the next post i promise will be more guided!

xoxo

ladebelle

have you ever felt as though no one can see you or what you’re doing? but you feel as though you’re destined for greatness?

maybe it’s just been me… but i really feel as though i’m the invisible girl that works her ass off but is never seen… maybe it’s just how i’m feeling now… maybe it’s how i’ve been feeling for a while… maybe it’s actually reality… or maybe it’s all in my head… maybe the feeling of defeat that i have right now will one day fuel me to success… or maybe it’ll fuel my demise…

no one can see her... but she knows shes there

no one can see her... but she knows she's there

i think that what i’m most tired of is always giving my all to my work… maybe if i did a half ass job then i wouldn’t feel as shitty as i do now. but no, that’s not the work ethic i’ve been instilled with.

i’m really upset, angry, frustrated, tired, and just weary… i’m tired of always having to be the “bigger person” and suck my feelings up because some asshole supervisor has a title that they don’t deserve. i’m tired of always being talked down to as if i don’t have a brain or thoughts or ideas of my own. i’m tired of feeling unappreciated for doing 5 peoples job and barely able to do mine. i’m tired of being stressed out beyond belief for a job that i can’t stand and bosses that couldn’t stand without we little people. i’m tired of working my ass off and growth not be seen when i know it’s there…

but most of all, i’m tired because this seems to be how it’s always been and will always be…

ok folks… so i’ve had a glass (to be read as a couple glasses) of wine… btw, for non-red wine drinkers, mixing it with a little cranberry juice makes it wonderful!!! however, this is not the point of this specific blog…

so today i sat at my desk from 8:30 am till 5:30 pm without any breaks while doing 3-4 people’s jobs… that might be a slight exaggeration but nonetheless, i’m doing waaaay more then i signed on to do. so what do i do you ask? i work in the wonderful world of association management. what is that? hell, i don’t even know but i do know that i must be doing a damn good job because they keep giving me more shit to do… but with increasing responsibility and an additional degree, do you think i’m paid more? NOPE!!! i’m not… in fact, during my review, i might just be getting a cost of living increase…

during a conversation today and many conversations with my hot husband, i’ve determined that this is just normal for the average american… as the economy consistently decreases, the inverse relationship between the amount of work that an employee has to do and the amount in which they are paid continues to transpire (not sure if that really fits in here but it sounds good).

this would be how my desk once looked

this would be how my desk once looked except i'm black

so today’s rant is a rant that may not have a conclusive ending… but i can tell you this much… i’m tired of being a slave in this workforce and consistently being overworked and underpaid. i get pissed off every time i check my email and there’s a message from one of my 2 micromanaging bosses. i am complaining here and i invite you to do so as well… at least at my previous job i did something of importance, made valuable decisions, and had a pretty damn cool boss (shout out to Sarah!). here, my boss is a constant reminder of the cabbage patch kid that i never wanted… ugh

and here’s some more complaining… i don’t know what to do!!! i mean, do i continue bustin my ass and barely making enough to pay the damn student loans that i have for the degree that was supposed to make me money!!!! ugh… major ugh… so what do you do in this world where employees are consistently over worked and under paid and under appreciated? with the state of the economy, do you find a new job and hope you can keep it or do you put up with the bullshit they keep feeding you?

talk to me…

so in 2001 i went natural before going to college. my shit was just buzzed off and i had the fresh fade! when most black women go natural, there’s a rough transitional period for us. it totally affects our self-esteem… i thought that i looked like a pre-pubescent boy (i didn’t but you get my point) and definitely didn’t view myself to be pretty, let alone beautiful. but there’s definitely beauty in being able to embrace yourself for the natural beauty that you are… now that we’ve gotten passed the cuumbia singing and shit, on to the real reason for this blog…

i was riding the train this morning and out of the corner of my eye there was what looked to be a mop sitting in the corner… i thought, “self, surely there is not a mop on MARTA this morning” and in fact, i was sadly correct. there was no mop sitting there but instead, a beautiful young lady who apparently was struggling with the natural hair dilemma that most of us do. i’m all for learning new things as it pertains to hair, just not when i’m going to be at work that day.

unacceptable for work... even for her.

unacceptable for work... even for her.

and of course everyone has the occasional bad hair (even ladebelle does), occasional should not be everyday… i mean, they make hair ties, wigs, and weaves (which will need to be an entry of it’s own) for that! i too have struggled with what is appropriate for work with my naturally curly hair…

so for all those who are in/have been in this boat, i’ve created a list of telltale signs that your hair is not appropriate for work:

  1. your hair resembles a mop (the obvious)
definite no no

definite no no

  1.  it looks like your hair had a fight with a comb and the winner is still undetermined
  2. the average onlooker can’t tell if your hair is trying to lock itself or not
  3. it looks like there are cornflakes or other “accessories” in there
  4. people walking past stare in awe of your hair

now i’m not saying that you have to tame in such a way that’s unnatural or is just not you… but definitely make sure it’s appropriate for your work and your lifestyle…

great website for natural hair? www.naturallycurly.com

get that shit together though!!!

Statistically speaking (i know there’s a supporting statistic… i just don’t know where though), we spend most of our lives at work. This also means that we probably use our workplace bathrooms most of the time we use the bathroom when not showering. So obviously the work bathroom is an important one. But some people take this a little too seriously.
At my current job we have a bathroom Nazi. All of this bathroom stuff started with the constant abuse of the ladies room on our floor. We’d had like 2 floods in the span of a week on top of the fact that it consistently smelled like a maneur factory. So some ladies on our floor decided to ‘beautify’ our bathroom, asking for $1 donations. None of the ladies in my company have money for this bullshit, as they recognized it for the nonesense that it was.

So they decorated our bathroom with stuff that is super circa 1980. I mean, fake flowers, green roses (WTF?!?!?), and apple cinnamon renziut spray. So cut to last week up till yesterday… One lady, the bathroom Nazi, is always in the bathroom sprayin down and fixin it up like the lady who works in club bathrooms.

This would be the bathroom Nazi who makes sure all the green roses are there and maces people with cheap air freshener

This would be the bathroom Nazi who makes sure all the green roses are there and maces people with cheap air freshener

My coworker and i happen to be in there at the same time. As she comes out the stall, the bathroom Nazi maces her in the face with the apple cinnamon spray. This had to be the funniest event of the day (so I made a point of telling virtually everyone about it). So yesterday I mosey on into the bathroom to handle business that you do in the bathroom and I was shocked and appalled by what greeted me upon opening the door.

This is how it looked when she got maced in the face with the cheap air freshener

This is how it looked when she got maced in the face with the cheap air freshener

Apparently the bathroom Nazi had a problem with the way the ladies on the floor were cleaning up the water on the sink and she wanted EVERYONE to know this. On every stall, Mirror, and the thing that dispenses the paper towels were signs about wiping the sink down. Although I’ve never been to a place that they torture people, I imagine this would be how one looked. It was almost as if there were threats all over the wall. I mean, how can anyone comfortably wipe their asses in this environment? The bathroom Nazi had gone too far… Doesn’t she have a real 9-5 job? What the hell did she do that she could afford to spend so much time in the bathroom making sure that it smelled “fresh”, the sinks were wiped down, and noone had tinkled on the seat? Furthermore, if you did have the time to spend not working, why would you spend it in the public bathroom?

So what did i do? On behalf of my ass and all the other asses that walked into the bathroom shocked, appalled, and almost pissing on themselves, I took a stand! Now those signs are down in the bathroom… Next step, getting rid of the cheap air freshener and the circa 1980 decor ***shudder***.

Moral of the story: its only a bathroom… Do your job and stop being weird!