the workplace bathroom

Statistically speaking (i know there’s a supporting statistic… i just don’t know where though), we spend most of our lives at work. This also means that we probably use our workplace bathrooms most of the time we use the bathroom when not showering. So obviously the work bathroom is an important one. But some people take this a little too seriously.
At my current job we have a bathroom Nazi. All of this bathroom stuff started with the constant abuse of the ladies room on our floor. We’d had like 2 floods in the span of a week on top of the fact that it consistently smelled like a maneur factory. So some ladies on our floor decided to ‘beautify’ our bathroom, asking for $1 donations. None of the ladies in my company have money for this bullshit, as they recognized it for the nonesense that it was.

So they decorated our bathroom with stuff that is super circa 1980. I mean, fake flowers, green roses (WTF?!?!?), and apple cinnamon renziut spray. So cut to last week up till yesterday… One lady, the bathroom Nazi, is always in the bathroom sprayin down and fixin it up like the lady who works in club bathrooms.

This would be the bathroom Nazi who makes sure all the green roses are there and maces people with cheap air freshener

My coworker and i happen to be in there at the same time. As she comes out the stall, the bathroom Nazi maces her in the face with the apple cinnamon spray. This had to be the funniest event of the day (so I made a point of telling virtually everyone about it). So yesterday I mosey on into the bathroom to handle business that you do in the bathroom and I was shocked and appalled by what greeted me upon opening the door.

This is how it looked when she got maced in the face with the cheap air freshener

Apparently the bathroom Nazi had a problem with the way the ladies on the floor were cleaning up the water on the sink and she wanted EVERYONE to know this. On every stall, Mirror, and the thing that dispenses the paper towels were signs about wiping the sink down. Although I’ve never been to a place that they torture people, I imagine this would be how one looked. It was almost as if there were threats all over the wall. I mean, how can anyone comfortably wipe their asses in this environment? The bathroom Nazi had gone too far… Doesn’t she have a real 9-5 job? What the hell did she do that she could afford to spend so much time in the bathroom making sure that it smelled “fresh”, the sinks were wiped down, and noone had tinkled on the seat? Furthermore, if you did have the time to spend not working, why would you spend it in the public bathroom?

So what did i do? On behalf of my ass and all the other asses that walked into the bathroom shocked, appalled, and almost pissing on themselves, I took a stand! Now those signs are down in the bathroom… Next step, getting rid of the cheap air freshener and the circa 1980 decor ***shudder***.

Moral of the story: its only a bathroom… Do your job and stop being weird!