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Monthly Archives: December 2008

simple directions lead me
from where i was to where you are
you say it’s not far from where i am
and you guide me, easily, calmly, confidently

nervous energy runs through my veins
why am i nervous?
we spent countless hours on the phone
letting our souls speak and share with one another

i pinpoint the reasons why
and insecurities flood my brain
what if he thinks i’m fat? ugly? too tall?
or what if he treats me like every other guy

i swallow my insecurites
and digest my uncertainty
i’m now where he is
and there’s no turning back

my eyes are tantalized by the eye candy that greets me
warmth & comfort are emitted by his presence
and he immediately wraps me up in himself
sharing his warmth with me

my discomfort increase
because i’m realizing the true beauty of the man that sits in front of me
his presence is magnetic
and seemingly omnipresent

in the privacy of him
i force myself to not get lost in the labyrinth of his eyes
but find myself desiring to stare deeply into them
i sing to myself, ‘if wanting u is wrong i don’t want to be right…’

his mouth is perfect and i want to try it
taste it, tease it
but as much i want to be entangled in his arms,
lost in his caress, drowned in his desire, i just lay next to him, barely touching

we sleep together, innocently
our souls playing and intertwining
and i sit here now wishing that he were more
then just a thought dancing in my mind…



*I’m still on vacation so excccuuuuuuuuse me! But look, I woke up early this morning just to give y’all something to talk about. I’m in beautiful North Carolina, on my way to NYC and really I’d rather play in the snow that hasn’t fallen yet. But I had something on my mind and I want to give it to you. Oh and I don’t ALWAYS think about sex. LOL I have another topic coming up soon for you guys. I have a whole repertoire ready and waiting. Just stay tuned in 2009!


Y’all know there is just an undeniable difference between sex with a friend and sex with your lover. Obviously, most people would jump to say that sex with your lover is the best. And, usually I would venture to agree. But let’s break it down. Starting with your lover first. 


Sex with your lover: 

It’s passionate, he/she knows all the nooks and crannies, and he calls you sexy names like “baby” or “angel” or “madamoiselle”. Ok that might be a little weird but you get the point. He’s running his fingers all gently though your hair. She’s rubbing your back instead of scratching it. You guys mouth kiss (which it’s generally a rule that you do NOT mouth kiss the randoms in the bed lol). You roll around the bed instead of toss around. Even when it’s rough, it’s loving. He stops to ask “baby (angel, madame), are you okay? That didn’t hurt did it?” All followed by a loving kiss on your neck, back, hand. Flowers blossom, birds sing, and rainbows flow from your ass to the ceiling. There really aren’t any embarrassing moments as you guys are close enough to not care. You guys compromise on who sleeps in the wet spot and you even spoon afterwards. Of course this is awesome! 

But wait…


Sex with a friend:

You guys are cool, attractive, and it’s all good. He may step to you or you may step to him. But when it goes down, it goes down. You may kiss, but there’s no mouth kissing. Maybe lip biting, but no slips of the tongue straight to the mouth. It aint pretty, but that’s what makes it so good. The passion is animalistic. He may not know all of the nooks and crannies, but he will pull out all the stops to make sure you enjoy yourself. You will too. I mean you want all that Sh*t you talked to be worth it and true. You scratch and he pulls your hair. There are no sexy names that roll of the tongue, just moans and total reckless abandon. You guys bounce all over the bed. You try out all kinds of crazy positions and when those embarrassing moments happen, if y’all are real cool, you can laugh it off and make fun of each other. Sometimes there’s even random funny dialogue during the act that usually would be corny, and it is, but who cares, it’s just your friend. When y’all are done, you are able to just hop up and bounce away for the all important post-sex pee (PSP) and all is well with the world.

Ahhhh these all sound like the good. But what about the bad and the ugly. Got that for ya too. 

Sex with your lover:

Sometimes this can be boring. You guys may have tried it all, and get comfortable. Every night it goes like this: Kiss, Kiss, clothes come off, grabs a boob, lick, head, missionary, and if it’s a good night, either Cowgirl or Doggy next, or if it’s a holiday, all three. In that order. And while sometimes he may smack your booty or she may dig her nails in, it’s almost like it’s part of the script. Like [insert random act of ruffness here]. Y’all mouth kiss so much, it takes away from his ability to appropriately thrust while in missionary, and the lady’s ability to really control the ride. I said earlier that there aren’t any embarrassing moments, but if something gross does happen you do kinda feel bad because you guys expect these moments to be perfect. You guys barely break a sweat and sometimes y’all spoon directly afterwards and all that stickiness can sometimes be annoying. All that being sweet, romantic and cuddly sometimes makes it hard for the lady to sneak away for the absolutely most important act of the PSP. You don’t want to ruin the moment though, so you lie there festering in all the harmful germs. LOL 

But wait….

Sex with your friend: 

It’s wild, it’s crazy, and it can leave you sorer than hell. See he may not stop to ask “are you okay? That doesn’t hurt does it?” And while you’re in it to win it, and hey you may even like a little pain, you are having to grit your teeth through the drilling he’s giving you. Eight or 10 minutes of it felt great, but now, you are pretty sure you are out oil, and you hate Alaska for Palin and that damn “Drill Baby Drill” slogan. You hair is completely sweated out, your ass is smacked cherry apple red, and his back looks like you clawed your way up his body. It was great during the act, now that it’s over you are beginning to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the war that you just participated in and you are need of the infirmary STAT! If and this is a big if, your friend is hanging around for the evening, the guy tends to leave the wet spot for you when you jump up to take care of the PSP and when you get back, he’s passed out and comfy in the warmth of the bed, while all that’s left for you is a corner of the blanket and the dreaded wet spot. *sigh* You gotta give some to get some. 


It goes both ways. I think I’d rather have sex with my lover because that would imply that I have a lover and I’m not single. But damn if I don’t love sex with a friend. Of course these are sweeping generalizations but it’s a blog, so sue me. I say what I want to say. LOL 

Also, one could say that the “sex with your lover” that I described could be called “making love” but that just didn’t sound as good in the blog title. 











Happy Holidays everyone, next up I’ll be chatting up about New Years Resolutions, and don’t forget my multi-part post about Black women and Sexuality. I’m coming hard with that one! 



re?ject [v. ri-jekt; n. ree-jekt] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object) 1. to refuse to have, take, recognize, etc.: to reject the offer of a better job.
2. to refuse to grant (a request, demand, etc.).
3. to refuse to accept (someone or something); rebuff: The other children rejected him. The publisher rejected the author’s latest novel.
4. to discard as useless or unsatisfactory: The mind rejects painful memories.
5. to cast out or eject; vomit.
6. to cast out or off.
7. Medicine/Medical. (of a human or other animal) to have an immunological reaction against (a transplanted organ or grafted tissue): If tissue types are not matched properly, a patient undergoing a transplant will reject the graft.

–noun 8. something rejected, as an imperfect article.

it’s amazing how a six-letter word can bring about so much pain, doubt, and negative feelings all together. not only can it destroy any kind of positive or happy feelings that you had in general, it transcends every aspect of life.

i’ve never really sat down and thought about all the ways that rejection affects my life… but i feel the need to do it now… introducing…

yes... ladebelle has rejection issues too

yes... ladebelle has rejection issues too

i can’t remember my first encounter with rejection… i’m sure that i was young, as we most were. it seems as you get older, the faster and harder rejection hits.

what am i talking about you ask? ok, when you’re younger, things are just so much easier! so i don’t think that we pay that close attention to rejection when it comes. for instance, when we were younger, school was so much easier then college and post grad. even when you did fail, it wasn’t the end of the world like it is now.
but if i fail now, shiiiiit it’s the end of the world as we know it and i get rejected from my student loans. when we were younger we didn’t have to have jobs so not getting the job we interviewed for doesn’t affect us the way that it does now. and neither does being rejected from the opposite sex.

but now we’re adults living in the sucky, rejecting, real world. it seems like everytime you turn around, there’s another stamp of rejection…

…professional life…
ok… so you watch the dvd on how to master an interview. you do the research on the company. you mapquest the address so that you have turn by turn directions. you are dressed to a tee. you arrive 15 min early. you think the interview goes great! you skip out the office thinkin you just got your job!!! YESS!!! you send off your thank you notes with enthusiasm. three days later you get a letter in the mail saying, ‘thank you for coming into to interview with us. unfortunately, blah blah blah blah blah’ REJECTION!!!!!!!!!!

…personal life…
there are soooo many examples of this… i’ll just name a couple of the more popular…
example #1: you are trying to be nice to someone and you smile or say hi and they look away as if you weren’t speaking to them… REJECTED
example #2: this is more personal and i think that we’ve all been guilty of this. you know that someone is interested in you but you just don’t feel the same way. so you do the silent treatment. you stop calling/texting them. you don’t answer their calls. you don’t answer any unknown number to you.

finally, they get the picture… REJECTION
example #3: this example is very similar to the previous example. so you get to know someone. or so you think. you grow to actually like this person, have feelings for them. and then you realize it and acknowledge the feelings for the person. you just haven’t told them about it yet. somehow it comes out (whether it’s thru them beggin and pleading or with some spirits) and their response is, “oh, i already knew that.” so you think that everything’s fine since they already knew it. nope, think again. for some odd reason, the announcing of feelings warrants example #2 to occur. thus leading, once again, to REJECTION

so here is my question to the world (or just the www) if you already knew how i was feelin, then y bother to force it outta me if ur just gonna REJECT me afterwards??? and y is it that it’s the ugly people that REJECT pretty people???

ok folks… that’s all outta me… leave me a comment and include some of rejection examples… until next time…KEEP IT PIMPIN!!!



So I have to be honest. My bloggin has been slackin because I was celebrating the birth of our good Lord Jesus Christ. Now I know you have read some sacreligious stuff on this here blog, but I, JG*, was born and raised in the Southern Church (Shout out to my G.R.I.T.S!) And although I fall short of the glory every now and then, I love me some Jesus. This is exactly why on Christmas Eve I got completely and utterly wasted. I don’t have the equipment to load up some of my crazy pics, so for now, here’s a picture of my puppy. 

This is Kizmo!

This is Kizmo!

Random, I know. But I think I’m still residually drunk. Seriously. I drank enough on Christmas Even to currently still be drunk. I’m here in Florida, the weather is very nice, I believe it’s 76 degrees outside right now. I didn’t even bring clothes for this kind of weather. We went to this club out on the beach and I didn’t realize how much I missed the water until that moment. To go to the club, then walk out on the patio and see the ocean……I miss it. 

I think it was the salty air combined with the 4 Vodka Gimlets, the 2 Kamikaze shots, and the Sonic Cherry Limeade half full of Goose that had me going. I went out with some guys that I went to High School with but I only knew one of them. By the end of the night, I had drank each and every one of them under the table, and paid for all of their food at Waffle House. Not to mention, I out-danced every Becky in the club, and I had on my brand new extremely sexy pumps. I was a bad bitch. I’m going to have to upload some pics later. LOL 

I did it all for Jesus. If I can go out and party for some random celebrity’s birthday I can damn sure do it big for Jesus. 

Christmas day was awesome for us. My mother works on the Navy Base and she volunteered to work Christmas morning, so we went out there to eat breakfast with the families of the soldiers. That was great. Too bad I was too hungover to really take it all in. I didn’t open my gifts until like 4:30. Last night, I had some Cognac and smoked cigars with my Daddy. My boss gave me these great Cubans, and it was a good time, except it made my Dad extremely yappy. 

So here I am this morning, I swear I’m still drunk, and I know this blog post makes very little sense. But please believe I will be back in effect next week with some more juicy goodness, and to continue with my multi-post rant on women, sex, the black woman, and how all that ties together.

So Ranters, gimmie your good Christmas stories!


Drunk and disorderly,


P.S. I finally watched “This Christmas” last night, and it was good/wack all at the same time. Highlights of course was Lauren London, and the baby oil scene. And Christ Brown. He’s my guilty pleasure.

***here’s a piece of some fiction writing that i’ve done***

…my frontdoor…

i could tell she was coming home… i could hear her footsteps. she was laughing with a male who’s footsteps i couldn’t recognize… you can tell alot from the way a person walks…his footsteps were heavy, steady, and firm… confident, like he knew where he was walking… she stuck her key in me, but didn’t turn…

he pushed up behind her, sandwiching her between me and him… he began kissing on her neck, she exhaled heavily, moaning softly… she let go of the keys and put both palms on flat on me, letting her purse hit the ground… i could see his hands reach around and wrap around her breasts… he massaged her nipples and she threw her head back landing on his chest… she tried to turn around but he prevented her and pressed harder against her… they were both breathing heavy… she began to grind her hips and he moaned this time…

his hands moved under her shirt, lifting it above her head… he kisses and licks down her back as he unclasps her bra… he heads further and further south as he undoes her pants… he pulls them down, his mouth following her jeans over her ass… he stops there and nibbles and licks as he continues to take her jeans off… he turns her around now, her back and one of his hands is on me… he uses his other hand and tongue to part her lips that linger in front of him… she bumps her head on me in ecstasy…

i can’t see much but i hear her moans and feel her squirming against me… i see his chest heaving hard… he puts her legs over his shoulders and lifts her up… i can tell shes shocked by how she tries to grab me… he undoes his pants while continuing to feast on her buffet and his pants drop…

he brings her down and places her onto him… in and out and in and out and in and out… it seems to go on for awhile… i can here muffled moans and hear the sounds of kissing… she whispers that she’s about to cum. he pulls out and places her back on the ground… he turns her around, spreads her legs, and gives all of him to her… i can see her face now, filled with so much emotion… she looks like she’s about to burst and then there’s the look, u know, the look that you get when u release a lot of pressure… he had the same look…

he collapsed against her and she against me… i can feel the heat steaming from her pores, her heart is racing against me, her eyes closed, her palms open, with his hands over them… she pushes herself up, places her hand on the keys, turns the lock and opens the door. she then asks him, ‘would you like to come inside?’

or just dick…

***merry christmas eve everyone!!!***


so people say that there is power in pussy, but there is also power in dick as well… this is evident to any/every heterosexual female out there… let me elaborate on this…

from the time that a woman meets a man, she sizes him up wondering just how big he is and if he’s good in the sack. so you get to know him, find the things that make him tick and the things that simply tick you off about him… so you guys finally get to the point where it comes time for him to lay the pipes down… now 1 of 3 things can happen.

scenario 1: you guys are all hot and heavy and you’re craving to feel him inside of you. you can’t wait any longer and you reach down and grab his love stick and you are surprised. now, i didn’t say pleasantly surprised but more disappointed then anything. you find that his love stick is no bigger then a slim tampon. so you proceed to have pity sex, faking pleasure sighs while all the time your wishing that he would hurry up and finish and get the hell out. after you find out that he doesn’t have the equipment to please you, everything that you did like about him seems insignificant and those things that somewhat bothered you became blaringly annoying… you can’t stand his voice, let alone his touch or his presence… you begin to resent him, and finally cut things off, saying that it’s you, not him when you know what the real reason was…

scenario #2: you guys are passionately kissing… the mouth leads to the neck and then his chest and then his stomach and his pants somehow come off and you see his love stick and think, “hey, this is workable”… after massaging his love stick with your tongue, you give into your cravings to have him… this is when you find out that he is NOT as experienced as you thought. the position is missionary and that’s it. he doesn’t know how to change positions and doesn’t want to… he doesn’t really know the stroking techniques but you submit to rabbit fucking cuz hey, it feels ok… you vow to teach him a thing or two so that things can really take off for you guys… (see how scenario #3 ends)

scenario #3: you are lying on your back out of breath with a huge smile and try to recap what the hell just happened… it all started with an innocent kiss… then he had you pinned against the wall, his body pressed up against yours… you can feel his heart beating hard and fast against you… his kisses move from your mouth to your neck as his hands move from your waist to removing your top… then his mouth is at your breasts and his hands are at your pants… everything moving so fast… he’s on his knees, your knees are over his shoulders, the room is spinning and and then you’re spinning… you’re upside down caressing his love stick with your tongue as he probes you with his… then you think, “oh shit, he just pulled a justin the slayer move!!” he’s had enuff you’re feet are back on the floor and mouthes are pressed passionately against eachother. he grabs your ass and lifts you onto him. he takes you right there, on the wall… the rest is a blur… and now you’re lying here with him sleeping next to you… you can’t even remember the bad things about him… him? annoying? never… in your mind, this man is perfect!!!

i think i got off the topic at hand… well… the bottom line here is that with great dick, you have the power to blind women… you make her mad, bring home some flowers and the family pack of trojan and go to work!!! i guarantee she’ll forget what the hell she was so damn mad about! i know i would! now, you have no ‘motion’ but u have a great tool, well, u know they say practice makes perfect so you should probably invest in that family pack as well… now, if u don’t have a proper tool, well, i don’t know what to say other then don’t come holla at me!!! lol…



Today’s blog will be about Road Rage as I make my way 5 hours south of Atlanta to Florida, my home. It will be a late one, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, it may change as I’ll have plenty of time to think up some other good ish…. 



Until then,



mistletoe… i remember as a little girl growing up, i always wondered exactly what it was and why in the hell everyone was kissing under it. now at the ripe old age of… well, that doesn’t matter. either way, i still have no idea what mistletoe is or why we now use it as an excuse to get it on under some parasitic green plant…

so, dear readers, i tapped into my old scholarly ways and did a little research on this because i’m sure that i’m not the only person who has no clue why begin making out out and getting hot and heavy when we see this little green herb suspending from some obscure fixture in the ceiling.

…the history of mistletoe…
so mistletoe grows on bushes or shrubs and it’s quite parasitic in nature. if you eat it, if then you’ll get really sick to your stomach. in fact, mistletoe kills trees… there are little berries on there called juniper berries that birds eat and shit out… ok… so on to the interesting things i guess.

why do we kiss under mistletoe? in ancient times, it was scene as a symbol of friendship and good fortune. so if two random (or not so random) people meet under the mistletoe, then the kiss and if two enemies meet, then they call a truce for whatever their beef is… isn’t that all so sweet?

…mistletoe now…
i remember getting mistletoe painted on my fingernails so that i could walk around to random cute guys and get kissed on behalf of the painted mistletoe on my finger. it’s funny because i don’t think that i’ve ever put up mistletoe OR kissed under it.

i think that someone should use some other parasitic plant that sucks life out of trees to hang up that symbolize lustful pleasure. it’ll have condom’s growing on it (for safety) and as soon as two people are under it, they have to get it on immediately. of course there should be some kind of guidelines for this plant… like if you’re straight, then you should probably make sure that you aren’t under the plant at the same time as someone the same sex as you. of course if your bi, this could make for interesting times. also, if you don’t have voyeuristic tendencies, you may only want to hang it in the bathroom or bedroom so as you’re giving the tour de crib-o you can get it on versus in front of everyone and your momma at the holiday party.

the trees can get it on... can their offspring help me too?

the trees can get it on... can their offspring help me too?

and surely i’m not the only one out there who uses the mistletoe as a way to get a little more action or would want another kind of plant for errr, spontaneous eruptions…

so good readers, will there be mistletoe in your holiday celebrations and would you buy the plant that i speak of?

xoxo (under the mistletoe)


I really needed a reason to use that song. LOL I love love love me some Pharrell and by default in this song, I love Usher. 

This is going to be part of a multi-post discussion of some ideas. I’d love to get you guy’s feedback to make future posts on this topic more conducive to what you all want to talk about. 

So as humans, we all have the desire to meet someone we’re attracted to, get to know them, marry, and mate. That can be in any order obviously. While this seems like an easy enough concept, it has proven itself to be quite difficult actually. Especially in this day and age. It seems the economy isn’t the only thing in a recession. What I want to talk about however is the role sex plays in relationships. Specifically for this post I want to talk about the role a woman’s sexuality plays into relationships. 

This is partially inspired by the Jump Off vs. Friends with Benefits conversation we had over at Single Black Male, but really it’s a thought that I’ve seen many women secretly whisper about. It seems that to a certain extent black women are experiencing our own sexual revolution. Feminism to a certain extent left us in the dust, so we’re just now learning to love and be okay with our sensuality. Or we really? I watch Sex and The City, and I marvel at how these women were sexual, and open about their sexuality. They did things and spoke about things in a way that just made it seem normal and quite alright. Conversations among black women don’t go that way without anyone observing considering them “Whorish”.  Of course, we talk to our girlfriends about our sexual escapades but the feeling is definitely different. Here’s why: Our sexual experiences are different. This is especially true for the Professional Black Woman. 

I’ve had many conversations with men about how they want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed. We’ve all heard that saying. To them, Wifey will be the pillar of the community, independent, yet secure enough to let the man be the man, and able to make his toes curl at night. Wonderful. That sounds great to me. So then tell me why have I observed this: A man meets a wonderfule woman.  She’s a PBW,  educated, socially aware, sweet, the kind of girl you bring home to mom, and make her the mother of your children. They date, enjoy great conversations, and then it’s time to get the business done. First go around is great. She handled hers and he showed out well for the match. All is well, phase two of the relationship can continue. Phase two being After Sex (A.S). You see there’s Before Sex (B.S.) and after. Y’all know there’s a difference. So the two are now being sexual. This woman who is wifey material is everything he could have asked for. This is where things get tricky. This same woman is also very sexual. She loves sex and is open about her likes and dislikes. It’s not something that she has to constantly talk about, or flaunt, but she brings it to his attention some of the things she’s interested in. The man realizes that she’s not virginal, and instantly her wifey status is diminished. I’m not talking about super freaky crazy, swinger swapping stuff and animals. Just on some Common’s “Go” type stuff. 

So why does this happen? I’ve heard plenty of men claim they want a L.I.T.S. but a F.I.T.B yet, turn around and say in the same breath that they want their wives to be damn near virginal. I’ve also seen men confuse a woman who is well versed in the bedroom with a woman who has been around the block. The man is still intrigued, but would prefer her to be the Jump Off as opposed to Wifey now. He wants to learn from her, but not learn with her. 

On the flip side, I’ve spoken to some of my friends who would love a sexually adventurous woman. However, they still admitted they would seriously question how she came to learn what she did, and why she was open to do certain other acts. However, I feel like this is all irrelevant. There’s a difference between the girl that you know all of your friends and the entire eastern seaboard have ran through, and the girl who may have had that one guy who showed her the ropes. At the end of the day if she’s in good health how much does it matter? If she was wifey to you before, the fact that she may know her way around the bed better than you shouldn’t change that. 

So is it male ego? Pride? Should we black women find the happy medium between just laying there and absolutely letting loose? Should we stop reading Zane books and learn how to keep it basic? Or should we be able to explore our sexuality, and have a partner who supports us and explores with us? Are Will and Jada on to something? If you found out that Michelle Obama was a real freaky deek would you take the pedestal from under her? 

I open it up to you guys. I want to later explore more of the Professional Black Woman and her sexuality, as well as the stereotype of the black woman as the Jezebel when other races of women hold no such “title” over their heads. We’ll see how this conversation goes first. 🙂 


JG* (no this post is not about me). LOL