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Monthly Archives: January 2009

aside from the fact that JG* and i are becoming more lazy writing a lot for this blog, we thought that it would be cool to follow behind other bloggers like SBM and have a standard friday blog… 

soooooo we’re doing a week in review with friday’s facts! these facts can be fun, funny, sad, silly, or whatever but just highlight your week… 

without further adieu, here we go!

ladebelle’s friday facts

  • gossip girls was a rerun and that made me sad
  • the afterschool program that i just got involved in where we mentor young girls has just started this week
  • for all those atlantans who love hip hop and MC battles, the MIC CLUB is officially up and running… (Wed. @10pm @SugarHill hosted by Dres ThaBeatnik and 4Kings Entertainment)
  • i cooked for the first time since christmas last nite
  • i officially hate vanilla slim fast shakes… they are the worst thing since relationships gone sour

JG*s friday facts

  • Lames make me sick. Seriously. I’m allergic and I came across one the other night that’s had me itching like crazy.
  • I know that I’m sliming down due to my workout. But my ass is expanding because my jeans DO NOT fit around my thighs and booty anymore. I like it. I think my trainer is giving me things specifically to keep the fat booty.
  • 100% of my applications for B-school are done. D.C. or Chicago, be on the lookout for a JG* near you in the fall. 
  • I’m driving home to Florida for the Super Bowl because my Dad is paying me $100 to do so. Love my parents.
  • If you don’t go visit JG* Runs the City, I will hate you. Also, ladebelle needs to get her video blogs up on that site as well. *ahem* 

 

alright guys! now it’s your turn! share some facts from this week with us…

 

xoxo

ladebelle & JG*

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so apparently this week we’ve been feeling the whole crazy ladies needing to get their shit together and i decided to make today’s blog about where i think the source of some of this nonsense is coming from.

ladies and gentlemen, we all need to work on our SELF-LOVE.

yup... this is what the ladies need to be spouting

yup... this is what the ladies need to be spouting

both men and women are so concerned with doing things for the opposite sex and not themselves that it’s really troubling but today’s focus is naturally, on the women.

JG* was talking about some good stuff in monday’s blog about getting your shit together. but really, we need to get our shit together for ourselves. so many of us are caught in this “i need a man” syndrome and doing everything to get the attention for men and not paying enough attention to ourselves and loving ourselves.

so what’s got ladebelle on her self-love soapbox today? i’m tired of beautiful women not having themselves together and being broke down and driven crazy by some of the simplest shit. this is so frustrating to me. ladies, seriously, love yourself and each other before giving all that love to a dude. men aren’t evil but a loving relationship is all the more healthy and fulfilling when you come into it loving yourself and knowing that you are beautiful.

i mean, how many of us love ourselves? how many of us think that we are truly beautiful without having a man or another outside source confirm the truth? how many of us use men to validate something that we already know to be true? why is it that without this validation the truth of ourselves somehow fades to black?

fellas, how does our “lack luster” love of ourselves affect you in our relationships?

xoxo

“lovin myself” ladebelle

Gather ’round ranters while I tell you a tale. It’s true, but names have been changed to protect everybody! It’s long but it’s so worth it. 

psycho

So a friend of mine (we’ll call her Beyonce) has a real cushy job. She does actually have work to do, but her projects pop up rarely, and she’s so good that she gets them done quick fast in a hurry and perfect. So she spends most of her time relaxing, surfing the net, and any other random things she can think to do. Her boss knows this, so it’s not an issue. Things were going well until…….. She* called. It was like any other call.

“Hello, may I speak to Jay? This is Ashanti”

Beyonce: “Sure hold on”…..”It’s Ashanti”….Boss answers, Bey goes about her business. 

This would happen daily to every other day. Bey kind of put together that Ashanti was the girlfriend, but she didn’t care. She thought it was funny because Jay is married, or separated, and he still be trying to tell the wifey what to do. She can hear him on the phone with her from her office. So weeks and months pass by and Bey starts to get the feeling that Ashanti might be kind of crazy. Sometimes she would hear her boss’s cell phone ringing off the hook and when he did answer, angry words were shared. When Ashanti would call the office, Jay would answer and hang up. 

Eventually, Bey’s concerns were confirmed. One day Ashanti called and angrily asked to speak to Jay. When Bey told Jay that Ashanti was on the line he directed her to lie and say he wasn’t there. When Bey did this Ashanti went wild. She accused Bey of lying and after a few bitter words she hung up. Bey was instantly surprised. This was none of her business and she was not happy being put in the middle of it. Jay apologized to Bey, and she thought that was it. Lo! It was not! Ashanti calls back and Bey is forced to tell her again. Ultimately Bey didn’t mind telling the crazy girl to effectively “Go sit down”. She has a cushy job and gets paid to do very little. No need to ruin it over drama that’s not even hers. After 4 or 5 more attempts Ashanti finally gave up for the day. 

But that wasn’t it. The next day, Bey answers the phone.

“Hello, may I please speak to Jay? This is Ashanti”…She says it like it’s not obvious and this road has never been  travelled before. 

Bey: “I’m sorry, he’s on the other line right now. Can I take a message?”

Craziness: I KNOW YOU’RE LYING! I DON’T CARE! I WANT TO TALK TO HIM NOW!!!!!!

Bey: I’m sorry, he’ll call you back later, thank you!

Craziness: Listen Bey! I have a bottle of pills that I’m going to take! And when I kill myself it’ll be ALL YOUR FAULT!!

Bey: *extremely freaked out* Hold please. Jay, Ashanti said she’s going to kill herself. Would you like to talk to her?

Jay: Nope, tell her I’m on the other line. 

Bey: He’s on the other line, Ashanti.

*click* 

Bey is now a little worried. Clearly she’s insane. A few hours go by and Bey thinks she’s in the clear. The phone rings, and her heart speeds up. 

*inaudible screaming, crying woman, snorting and yelling*: LET ME SPEAK TO JAY!!! 

Bey: ummmm what?

*inaudible screaming, crying woman, snorting and yelling*: LET ME SPEAK TO JAY!!!

Bey: *click* 

This goes on for a few weeks. Every other day or so, Ashanti calls, polite at first, then increasingly ruder. Jay continues to apologize and eventually places a restraining order against her. Things settle down. A few weeks later, Jay moves his office to his new townhome. He tells Bey, that her office will be on the first level, his on the second, and of course his living space will be on the third. Bey thinks to herself, it’s definitely an upgrade, but she hopes Ashanti is never stopping by. 

Moving day: They get to the new place and it’s beautiful. Bey’s set up is nice, secluded, and extra plush. The boss is out of her hair, and life is good. That is until Kelly stops by. Kelly is a rude sort of something, and she’s acting all crazy. Speeding up and down the street and acting a fool. She’s definitely irritable. Jay introduces her as Kelly, and Kelly barely looks at Bey. Bey is confused. Clearly Jay only messes with crazy chicks. She wonders if Ashanti knows about Kelly and vice versa. At the end of moving day, Kelly tells Jay she wants all three of them to have a conversation. Bey was with the telephone man when she overheard this request. Initially she thought “hell to the naw” but Jay tells her it’s ok and she goes to see what the deal is. 

Kelly wants Jay to apologize for telling Bey to lie for him. Jay does and Bey just stands there confused. She’s never taken a call from Kelly, only Ashanti. Who ARE this people? What’s going on!? 

It turns out, Kelly and Ashanti are the same person. She has two personalities and Kelly is the slightly more stable one. Jay is always complaining about this “crazy bitch” yet he’s still with her. Bey counted on her caller ID that Ashanti/Kelly calls the house approximately 57 times a day. Clearly, PSYCHO. 

So. What should I tell Bey to do? In this economy finding a new job is like believing Kelly/Ashanti will get it together. Impossible. Bey’s going to be leaving soon anyways. Should Bey talk to her boss or not since he’s clearly crazy too for being involved with the weirdo(s). Or should she leave it alone since no one has ever done anything to her (yet)?

Fin. 

Can’t wait to see these comments. 🙂 

*”She” is clearly the devil. 

P.S. Clearly this is Crazy Woman month. I believe this calls for a “Bitch, Breathe”

yes folks, ladebelle’s life was in fact threatened by a now ex. it’s this statement coupled with a conversation with the incredible slim jackson that lead to the writing of this blog and need for your feedback.

summary of slim and i’s conversation:

we were chatting about last weeks “i need a man” syndrome post and i brought up how my ex had told me that he would kill me if i ever cheated on him (and this was one of the reasons that lead to the ultimate demise of our relationship). slim’s response was that that made sense. and naturally i’m like, “oh wise slim, how in hades does that make sense?” slim tells me that men’s reactions to women cheating on them is more extreme then a man cheating on a woman and that women will most likely take the cheating man back. i thought about this and spewed some pro-woman speech and society and blah blah blah… something like this:

i think that society grooms women to be docile creatures and accepting of men’s trifling ass behavior. women are taught to be happy with just having a man period–even if that means settling for a sub-par man. and this is bullshit

hence the birth of this specific blog.

the cheaters…

i think that it’s a known fact that both men and women cheat. men suck at it and women are more calculated. but why do they cheat?

research shows that these are the top 6 reasons for why men cheat:

  1. she ain’t what she used to be
  2. she nags too much
  3. the thrill of doing something they aren’t supposed to be doing
  4. they just want to because they think they’re missing something or they settled down too early
  5. it’s “biology” (i’d like to represent that i think this right here is bullshit)
  6. it’s just sex

ok… so now for women’s top 6 reasons:

  1. familiarity breeds indifference or we just don’t feel appreciated
  2. you’re leading parallel lives and spending less time together
  3. the passion has fizzled
  4. the fantasy has fizzled
  5. your ego needs a boost
  6. it’s payback for his cheating

i think that cheating is a result of something missing in the relationship period.

what do you do?

so now someone has cheated. what are the responses?

men, do you go crazy and kill her? do you choke her out ike-style? or do you like mario winans (i think that’s who the song is by) and you want your woman to keep it on the low?

women, do you get lorena-bobbit on that ass or are you more like hillary clinton? are you publicly supporting him for cheating with a crazy transvestite while silently plotting against him? or do you simply pack your shit and go?

let’s talk about it!

xoxo

ladebelle (aka i’m happy i’m still alive)

p.s.

at this time i would like to point out that there are more songs by women going crazy over a male cheating on them then there are songs by men going crazy.

Like  the great T.I. said “Match ya panties with bra get your Sh*t together” 

sexy-bed

 

Seriously though. He had a good point. A while back I blogged about what men have to do to even get to the point of sticking. Well ladies, don’t think you got off easy. I’m not 100% on the “he needs to be paying to get my hair and nails done” thing. I feel like if he’s my boyfriend, then I will appreciate such a treat, but it’s not anything I expect. My mama raised me to make sure I keep that stuff in check on my own. So with that said here is the list ladies. 

 

Match your Panties with your Bra. 

I used to be on the “but do you KNOW how expensive that is?” Excuses for days. I’m also not saying that you should have 30 pairs of panties and 30 bras that all match. Be smart about it. Make sure they match for HIM. Also, 3 pairs of panties with different prints may match 1 bra. And finally, Victoria’s Secret is not the only place that makes good cute bras. I discovered Target a few years ago, and I’ve been much better for it. Besides, I love feeling sexy, so I love to match for myself. It’s and added bonus though when he sees that you pay attention to the details. Remember, your undies are the last thing he sees before you take him to the promised land. Make sure it’s a pretty picture. 

 

Keep your hair and nails done. 

I also blogged before about the black man’s fetish with pretty feet. It’s a reality people. My mother always said a girl who can’t take care of her feet is saying that she can’t take care of her nonny. She said your feet are the first thing that hit the water. I really took that to heart. Again, you don’t have to get gels/acrylics very two weeks, or have the big-toe design. But do keep them manicured and pretty. And please, invest in a foot loofa. Every time you shower, just do a quick scrub of the feet before you exit. Your S.O. will thank you while you’re spooning and your feet are rubbing up against his legs. He doesn’t want you combing his leg hairs with his feet. Not a good look. And the hair, this can be hard if you don’t know how to do your own hair and times are hard. But if you don’t have a girl you can go to, get a style that is low maintenance for you. But just like I said for men, you have to keep the hair clean. Chances are you are shorter than him, you do not want his nose stuck in your sour milk hair. 

 

Keep the lawn manicured

Some women swear by their natural state. But I would venture to say, that most men in the 20 something range prefer for your lawn to be cut. You can get a good brazilian for anywhere around $25-$65. It’s worth it and it lasts weeks. You can get the landing strip, or go full teenager. Just keep that area free of forestry. I always said men appreciate not having to hunt for the gingerbread house. Too much bush and he might get lost. Not to mention, hair traps sweat and odor. I personally feel it’s just a better look as far as hygiene. I cannot back that with scientific fact, but that’s just how I feel. 

 

Cook for him/Drink with him/Let him kick it with his boys. 

I am not so much of an “independent” woman that I can’t get in the kitchen and cook an amazing slap yo’ mama meal. So many women are looking for that “gentleman” but they have forgotten how to be “ladies”. You want him to open doors, take off his jacket and put it over the puddle, pay the bills even if you can afford to (which, Biblically he should) and all sorts of stuff. But then you have no clue how to hard boil an egg. Shame. Guys also want a girl who can drink and hold her own. Not drink him under the table and you have a bigger beer gut than him. But just a show of how you’re comfortable with him, and he can be with you, and you can have a good time too. Lastly, men will love to see you secure enough to let him hang with his boys. The more you are cool with him getting his space, the more he’ll appreciate the time he has with you. He’ll be out with his boys, thinking about that good meal you just made, your sexy hair and nails, and the landing strip awaiting his arrival. He’ll hurry back in no time. 

 

Lately there’s been some talk of female crazy. And it’s so true. It happens. We get caught up and we lose it. All of these things above are sure to drive a man crazy, and they are honestly, all things that we should be doing for ourselves regardless. That’s the ticket to happiness. Take care of your “Star Player” (thanks Katt Williams) and the rest of the team will prosper as well. This is a short list, but I’m not about to let you men folk come in here and start spewing forth all kinds of other randomness like “she should swallow” and blah blah blah. Get it together.

 

Such a mother F’in lady,

JG*

**sorry for the late post peoples!**

in light of some movies and some real life shit, i’ve been doing some thinking on the state of women in the world today. i was talking to a friend last night about how women are really crazy. (i did move on to how maybe it’s just people in general who are crazy but that’s a different post for a different day) as a woman, i find this horribly disturbing the fact that women go to the lengths of the crazy that they do because of a man. 

 

i mean, really?

i mean, really?

 

 

i think that at the root of all this craziness is the “i need a man” syndrome. ladies, i think most of us have been here before. it looks something like this… you’re single and fly (or not) and you feel as though your relationship status should change. that’s when you hit ALL your friends with the “i need a man” whine whenever you talk to them. you think that you need a man to take you out, snuggle with after hitting that spot the right way, and have those late night chats with till 5am knowing you have to be to work at 8am.

so then some poor blind guy finally falls into your trap and now you have a man. he’s hitting that spot like every single nite taking you out, you guys are making googly eyes at each other, talking late nites and all the love songs are about him. then something happens. he is caught stroking someone else’s kitty breaks up with you or decides things are moving too fast or whatever lame excuse that guys come up with. either way, the dynamics of your relationship have come to an abrupt stop. 

this is when the crazy needy women allow their inner crazy to come out and grace the world with their presence. next thing you know, you’re setting his mattress on fire as he sleeps or “busting windows out his car”. you are now certifiably crazy. and it’s not because he’s a dog or ain’t shit, it’s because you are slap crazy! things started out wrong from jumpstreet because of this incessant “i need a man” sydrome. 

ladies, let’s do something different in 2009. not only have men made it clear that they don’t want a woman who suffers from the “i need a man” syndrome with multiple songs like “independent woman”, “trading places”, “she got her own”, but let’s do it for ourselves. plus, i know as a woman, i can’t be kickin it wit no crazy ladies cuz if she’ll go crazy on him, that means she’s liable to flip out on me too… gotta pass on that…  

 

xoxo

ladebelle (aka let’s give up crazy in 09)

Ever get so drunk that you go beyond belligerent and circle back into complete functionality? Meaning, one minute you’re stumbling, words slurred, and giggling, the next minute you’re waxing poetic about pies and cooking a full 4-course meal. 

That’s how I feel right now. 

It’s 9:30 A.M. and I’m late writing this post because I am still….drunk. 

I broke all sorts of rules last night. I drank on a weekday, I didn’t drink water along the way, and I consumed my beverages within about 45 minutes. 

I wore snakeskin shoes to hang out with someone who has a snake. How rude of me. I also punked one of the co-workers of the friend I was hanging out with because he was baby sitting his drink. Again, how rude of me. LOL 

All this, I am paying for at this moment. I’m at work, but under my cute red peacoat I’m sporting sweats. I’m sure my boss didn’t see me. Now if I can only hide out until 5:30. 

This day is sure to get even more interesting. If you follow me on Twitter, stay tuned. If you don’t, start. LOL 

To my Ranters, give me your best drunk story. 

Also. Don’t forget to hit up JG* Runs the City. It’s a great cause. 

J “sorry this post is so short, I’m drunk!” G*

P.S. I’m doing so well with the things I said I’d change in 2009. This was a baby relapse. LOL Better luck today!

my phone rings, his picture pops up
-hey-
-whatz good miss lady?-
-shit, just chillin-
-what r u doin tonite-
-nothin i don’t think, what about u?-
-i’m on my way to the espn zone-
-o..ok… cool-
-i’m gonna give a call when i get in, ok?-
-yeah, cool-
i’m driving home later that night and i see his car as he’s drivin home..i beat him home. i’m getting out of the car as he pulls in. he gets out the car and is walking a lil faster then me so he waits. his speech is slurred and his eyes are bloodshot
-you just getting in?-
-yeah, y r ur eyes so red?-
-my contacts r dry. what r u about to do?-
-walk the dog and take a shower. u comin wit us for a walk?-
-nah, u comin up later?-
-yeah-
-ok, well call me after u walk the dog-
we go for a walk and i take my shower.
he picks up on the first ring.
-yeah-
-u still up?-
-yeah. u comin up right?-
-yeah, i’ll be up in a sec-
knock knock
he opens the door and walks to his room. he’s fucked up and i know it. i’m tired and he knows it. i lock the door, put my keys down, and go to his room. i get into bed and darkness takes over us both.
it’s light. he sits up and says his morning prayers. i say mine. i find myself praying whenever he does and i like that.
-what are you doing today?- he’s brushing his teeth
-nothing, getting myself together. what about u?-
-bout to get my hair cut and i have a function at 2. u gonna be home?-
-yeah, probably-
i’m loitering at the door now as he finishes brushing his teeth. i’m unsure if i should just go or wait for him.
-ok, well i’m gonna go now-
-hold up-
i stand waiting for him. he comes out in his shorts and socks. sexy. he pulls me to him and hugs me.
-thanks for coming by-
-anytime-
the door closes.

Nothing to see here, you should be watching History!

 

 

JG*

JG* and Ladebelle are making big moves! JG*’s new site JG* Runs The City is now up and running and we are RUNNING to save LIVES!!! Please check it out as it is sure to be major, and you can be a part of it too! Thank you!

JG* and Ladebelle