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Age Aint Nothin But A Number right?

cougar

Often times we see age differences in dating couples, maybe a year or two, but when we see major gaps it is most notably between an older man and a younger woman. There have been famous cases for this i.e. Anna Nicole Smith and that old guy, the Playboy bunnies and Hef, and so on and so forth. But alas….. just like 30 is the new 20, older women have become the hunters.

My favorite cougar is Eva Longoria’s Character on Desperate Housewives. She’s hot and he’s hotter.

jessepicture1

Next up would be Usher and Baby Factory Tameka

usher_cougar

I have to admit that I can foresee this in my future. If for some strange reason I’m not married by the time I’m 30, and my 30+ situation doesn’t work out, then I’m going full Cougar. I’ve never dated a younger man, but even JG* has weaknesses, and recently a young one has tapped into those. He and I don’t fit into the “Half Plus Seven Rule” (see below) but I’m 3 years removed from college, and he’s still enjoying the ride. I can’t help it though. He’s so cute and untarnished. Life is still so sweet to him, and no one has broken his heart. Even though the gap is not that big, he still looks at me like “the older woman” and something about that is kinda hot. I just want to spoil him. He wants me to fly down and visit him, I just want to send him a ticket to come see me. Crazy right!? This is not the JG* we all know and love.

halfplusseven

So ladies, ever been in Cougar mode? Men: ever been cougar bait? Why is it so much more social acceptable for older men to date younger women? According to somebody’s random census data that I’m not directly quoting, but women are more likely to outlive their male partners by seven years. So, it only makes sense that I should be looking for a man at least 7 years younger than me so that we can grow old and die together.

What say the people?

J “Cougarlicious” G*

so as i was working out on tuesday, i was watching the news and they had something on there about “sexting”. this was the first that i had heard of this new phenomena. i did some research while i was chatting the topic of sexting up with ainzneal from twitter and found that i wasn’t the only one who didn’t know about this thing. 

what is sexting?

basically, sexting is sending nude pictures via text message. 

 

**dead**

**dead**

why is sexting such a hot topic right now?

well because these children all now have cell phones are taking naked pictures of themselves and sending them around. **smh** not only is this a problem for any child that actually wants to grow up and make something of themselves, but you can be charged with child pornography if you are caught with these things on your phone from a minor. bananas right?

ladebelle’s commentary on this foolywang

i don’t understand this shit. i’m not hating on people who take naked pix of themselves and email/text them around but i just don’t understand the foresight in doing this. maybe it’s because i was raised by someone who works in the news and created this strong sense of paranoia or maybe it’s because all these sex tapes and naked cell phone pix of the chick from high school musical surfacing but i just can’t rock like that! 

what happens if these kids decide they wanna run for office and then these pictures surface? or what happens if your a 10 time olympic gold metalist and pictures of your unmentionables surface? imagine that embarrassment!!! hell, michael phelps had a picture of him hitting a bong and his endorsements got pulled. that’s MONAAAAAY!!!! 

but this young lady in this video… i mean, what’s there to say… 

**stepping off my soapbox** so dear readers of mine, do you participate in sexting? don’t lie, we’re like crunch fitness “no judgments”. if you do sext, why do you do it? do you fear any repurcussions? if you aren’t a sexter, why don’t you? TALK TO ME!

 

this is my time

xoxo

“i have an iphone that doesn’t allow picture messaging for a reason” ladebelle



Wanted to bring back an old post that went up over the holidays and may have been missed. It was a pretty good one, so I want to bring it back to the masses now that everyone is bright eyed and bushy tailed again!

Now on to the good stuff.

Y’all know there is just an undeniable difference between sex with a friend and sex with your lover. Obviously, most people would jump to say that sex with your lover is the best. And, usually I would venture to agree. But let’s break it down. Starting with your lover first.

Sex with your lover:

It’s passionate, he/she knows all the nooks and crannies, and he calls you sexy names like “baby” or “angel” or “madamoiselle”. Ok that might be a little weird but you get the point. He’s running his fingers all gently though your hair. She’s rubbing your back instead of scratching it. You guys mouth kiss (which it’s generally a rule that you do NOT mouth kiss the randoms in the bed lol). You roll around the bed instead of toss around. Even when it’s rough, it’s loving. He stops to ask “baby (angel, madame), are you okay? That didn’t hurt did it?” All followed by a loving kiss on your neck, back, hand. Flowers blossom, birds sing, and rainbows flow from your ass to the ceiling. There really aren’t any embarrassing moments as you guys are close enough to not care. You guys compromise on who sleeps in the wet spot and you even spoon afterwards. Of course this is awesome!

But wait…

Sex with a friend:

You guys are cool, attractive, and it’s all good. He may step to you or you may step to him. But when it goes down, it goes down. You may kiss, but there’s no mouth kissing. Maybe lip biting, but no slips of the tongue straight to the mouth. It aint pretty, but that’s what makes it so good. The passion is animalistic. He may not know all of the nooks and crannies, but he will pull out all the stops to make sure you enjoy yourself. You will too. I mean you want all that Sh*t you talked to be worth it and true. You scratch and he pulls your hair. There are no sexy names that roll of the tongue, just moans and total reckless abandon. You guys bounce all over the bed. You try out all kinds of crazy positions and when those embarrassing moments happen, if y’all are real cool, you can laugh it off and make fun of each other. Sometimes there’s even random funny dialogue during the act that usually would be corny, and it is, but who cares, it’s just your friend. When y’all are done, you are able to just hop up and bounce away for the all important post-sex pee (PSP) and all is well with the world.

Ahhhh these all sound like the good. But what about the bad and the ugly. Got that for ya too.

Sex with your lover:

Sometimes this can be boring. You guys may have tried it all, and get comfortable. Every night it goes like this: Kiss, Kiss, clothes come off, grabs a boob, lick, head, missionary, and if it’s a good night, either Cowgirl or Doggy next, or if it’s a holiday, all three. In that order. And while sometimes he may smack your booty or she may dig her nails in, it’s almost like it’s part of the script. Like [insert random act of ruffness here]. Y’all mouth kiss so much, it takes away from his ability to appropriately thrust while in missionary, and the lady’s ability to really control the ride. I said earlier that there aren’t any embarrassing moments, but if something gross does happen you do kinda feel bad because you guys expect these moments to be perfect. You guys barely break a sweat and sometimes y’all spoon directly afterwards and all that stickiness can sometimes be annoying. All that being sweet, romantic and cuddly sometimes makes it hard for the lady to sneak away for the absolutely most important act of the PSP. You don’t want to ruin the moment though, so you lie there festering in all the harmful germs. LOL

But wait….

Sex with your friend:

It’s wild, it’s crazy, and it can leave you sorer than hell. See he may not stop to ask “are you okay? That doesn’t hurt does it?” And while you’re in it to win it, and hey you may even like a little pain, you are having to grit your teeth through the drilling he’s giving you. Eight or 10 minutes of it felt great, but now, you are pretty sure you are out oil, and you hate Alaska for Palin and that damn “Drill Baby Drill” slogan. You hair is completely sweated out, your ass is smacked cherry apple red, and his back looks like you clawed your way up his body. It was great during the act, now that it’s over you are beginning to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the war that you just participated in and you are need of the infirmary STAT! If and this is a big if, your friend is hanging around for the evening, the guy tends to leave the wet spot for you when you jump up to take care of the PSP and when you get back, he’s passed out and comfy in the warmth of the bed, while all that’s left for you is a corner of the blanket and the dreaded wet spot. *sigh* You gotta give some to get some.

It goes both ways. I think I’d rather have sex with my lover because that would imply that I have a lover and I’m not single. But damn if I don’t love sex with a friend. Of course these are sweeping generalizations but it’s a blog, so sue me. I say what I want to say. LOL

Also, one could say that the “sex with your lover” that I described could be called “making love” but that just didn’t sound as good in the blog title.

sexy-time

NoThanks!

There is no Drill Baby Drill sign posted on the doors to my heaven.

NO

NO

So please, please stop trying to reach The Core.

You will not reach the center of the earth through me

You will not reach the center of the earth through me

I’m not saying we don’t like it hard and fast. But at least let me beg for it. Do not get to drilling the minute you enter paradise. Seriously. Where are you trying to go? I need men to take more time out to love and learn the female anatomy. I won’t post pictures here because this isn’t science class and I need y’all men to get out there and do the work yourselves! We talked about size last week, but the other important piece to that puzzle is how you work it. I said sized did matter, and I stand by that, however, don’t think that just because you are carrying around the “baby’s arm” that you can slang it however you want.

Listen closely. The Vagina, Vagine, Vajayjay, Nonny, P-Pie, whatever is full of great and fantastical nerves. However, those nerves cease existing in the bottom third of the honey pot. So all that drilling and jackrabbiting you are doing, isn’t as effective as you think it is. “Bottoming out”  can be a good time if it’s done right. That part of our anatomy can be painful if constantly hit or “drilled” so all that screaming you’re hearing is her way of attempting to tell you to stop, while still trying to continue to stroke your Male Ego™ as well as your prized possesion.

Let me show you a little educational video that is sincerely important for today’s lesson.

I was really searching for a way to use the good words of Ms. Alexyss K. Tyler. LOL

It’s all about how you employ your movements. Mix it up a little. Keep us guessing. Bring us to the edge with one move, then push us over with the next. I posted a link last week that may have gone unnoticed but I think it’s important to bring up again. Sex Info 101 is a FANTABULOUS resource for random positions. But please, study this. Use your knowledge of the anatomy, this link, and her body wisely. Do not try to bend your women up like a pretzel when she aint built to twist like that. Don’t put yourself in suspect positions trying to be freaky, because we might not catch the drift.

All I’m saying men is treat the Wishing Well like you would treat anything that you loved. With love and adoration. The Ying Yang Twins can have a song in which they constantly repeat “Beat the P***y up” only because they probably rarely get any. But I don’t want my poontang beaten up. Why on earth would I want that? I like it rough, but I want to be able to walk tomorrow. Men, just listen to her body. When she wants it hard, she’ll tell you, when her brain starts to scramble from the nailing you’re giving her, she’ll tell you to stop. Please listen. 🙂

Y’all know which part I’m talking about in the above clip. THAT’S how you drill.

Enjoy. 😉

Ms. NoThanks

In light of recent events and the rumors that followed regarding Chris Brown and Rihanna, it got me to thinking. (I’m not going to rant on that issue over here, but I will send you over to The MOGUL Group where I did manage to get all of my anger out) So without discussing the original situation that led to the rumors, I’ll just skip right to it. Word on the street is that Mr. Brown might be a little Blue over his wang being a little green. (I totally don’t believe this, but just go with me)

burning-bush

Everyone worries about getting burned. One of my favorite songs on the 88-Key’s album addresses this appropriately: Burning Bush. It’s a real problem out in the streets and you would think people would be more careful. But with the statistics out there staggering it seems like every other person you pass in the street has something yet when the questions are asked, everyone seems to be squeaky clean. Granted there are plenty of diseases that are quiet and dormant and never give you reason to kick down the nearest clinic door, but that just means you need to be a good steward over your privates and get that check-up regularly.

So what would you do if you looked down and discovered that your most prized posessions are experiencing their own “I Am Legend” transformation?

Well if you are in a relationship, it all depends. If you have been good on your end then I’m sure the first thought to go through your mind is “Oh…. i’mma kill that fool!” (man or woman) If you might have slipped up a time or two it gets a little tricky. It’s almost like the girl who is pregnant and doesn’t know who the father is. Kinda hard to go on Maury and ask “Who gave me this STD?”  This is why I say constant check ups are enomously important. They give you Benchmarks. On May 20th you messed around with Random X. On August 15th you had a check-up and you were clean. You and the boo continued to do you and on October 14th you were burning. In this situation you can reasonably deduce the source of the itch. Getting a check up at least 2-3 months after a suspect affair should give you accurate results. Either way, how do you approach the giver of bad news? Coming at them like a wildwo(man) isn’t  going to save you from the rubber gloves.

So what if you realize that it’s you that’s out there giving people the “forevers”? How do you tell the people you’re involved with and more importantly the one you love? What if it was something you didn’t know you had. Like HPV or something. In that case, your current boyfriend could have given it to you but since he can’t be tested (or affected really) neither of you knew.

If your girl said she had something like HPV how would you respond considering it really doesn’t affect *YOU* but could affect any future women if she doesn’t have staying power. And it may have been YOUR fault. It is definitely one of those sleeper sneaky diseases and not even a condom can save her. They also say that 80% of all women will eventually get this.

Are you more lenient if the “problem” in question can be gone with a simple co-pay, some antibiotics, and a week without liquor? If you met someone who you really liked and they had the burning bush but they were upfront with you and even had solutions as to how to safely have sex with them would you go for it?

These are some serious questions!

JG*

so ladebelle loves the kids and i volunteer with them along with a group of wonderful ladies. **shameless plug for us begins now** as a whole, i think that we are some of the classiest ladies who have such great hearts… **shameless plug over** anywho, we have this program where we do group mentoring for adolescent girls. today’s topic is relationships. 

as i was doing research on the phases of relationships to talk to them about, there were some things that struck me that i thought we should speak about here. so many of the male bloggers talk about sex on the first date and now i want to address sex within the relationship period. 

ok… so you meet this cute guy (where in the hell you meet him, i have no idea) and he asks you out. and by out i mean to the movies, museum, drinks, or some place in a non-personal atmosphere. so yes, this means that “hey do you want to come over and watch a movie” doesn’t count. you have a great time out on the first date. there was interesting conversation, some chemistry, and there were times where you saw that flash of lust in his eyes. he’s not overbearing with it, but he does a great job of making it known that he’s tryna feel up on your booty sans clothing. 

you’re attracted to him too. you feel the butterflies in your tummy. feel some of that heavy, lusty breathing when he turns his head, and you are consistently fighting the cheese that wants to break out on your face. now the thoughts flee from the butterflies in your tummy to the desire of feeling him all up in your tummy. the date is ending. you like him but you lust for him too. so… what do you do?

sex on the first date (isn’t it ironic)

 

it really isnt for everyone

it really isn't for everyone

 

 

i used to subscribe to the belief that you should just get sex over on the first date to relieve some of that sexual tension that’s in the air. so let’s say you go along with this thinking. now ladies, if you’re what can be considered a “freak” you’re now faced with another problem. do you go all out with your freaky shit or do you just break him in softly? give him enough to be coming back for more and remember your name or do you go out all out and have him looking at you funny in the morning. 

an even bigger problem is this. if you give him the proverbial milk without having him buy the proverbial cow, is he gonna think less of you? will you lose all potential of becoming a gf and labeled as the official J.O.? just some things for the ladies to think about and some things for the fella’s to answer…

wait a couple more dates for the sex

ok, you opt to wait a little longer before having dinner with the tube steak and there is still sexual tension rampant in the air. this shit is so thick that you could cut it with a machete. what can sometimes happen here is that neither one of you are being yourselves because you’re so preoccupied with behaving in a say that gets you closer to the either getting the draws or getting something longer term. 

how long do you wait until you’re out of the ocean of potential J.O.? do you have sex all the time or does the dating still happen? just some things to think about… 

 

shits and giggles to get the draws?

shits and giggles to get the draws?

 

 

the conclusion

at the end of the day, there’s not going to be a right or a wrong answer. for the ladies that go for there’s on the first date or even the one’s that wait, there will always be benefits or costs. but at the end of the day, staying true to yourself is all that matters. 

this is my time…

 

xoxo

ladebelle

I’m really tired (read: Lazy) from traveling up the eastern seaboard. I seem to live in NYC when I’m not in ATL. If you live in NYC, holla at ya girl a good place that I MUST visit. So I thought instead of writing a half-assed wack post, I’d cross post another post from another blog that I write. Some of you probably saw it from my tweeting, but I’m willing to bet many of you didn’t. It’s a really good post, and I want you guy’s thoughts on it. Check it out. 

~~~~~~

Necole Bitchie had a blog recently about how Michael Jai White’s wife Courtney proposed to him because she was tired of waiting. Ms. Bitchie was simply putting it out there that maybe it is ok for women to propose considering that our men are acting as if they don’t want to. I implore you to pop over there and take a look. She also quoted a very important quote that I’ll share with you over here. 

 

“A stunned White beamed a Kool-Aid smile and responded affirmatively. “I was pleasantly shocked and didn’t feel emasculated at all, ” admits White. ”I immediately said ‘yes’ because I knew that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her whether we got married or not.”

  Now, here’s where I get started. Well before I get into that quote, let me just say my piece on the topic. I for one, will not be proposing to no man, no time soon. Call me a traditionalist, call me conservative, call me Susan, I don’t care (Sorry Whitney). I just have very solid ideas for how relationships and marriage should work, and I hope to see those things through for myself. I honestly don’t feel as though my *hang-ups* regarding not proposing to a man will end up in me being single for life. In this day and age it seems like the lines are getting reeeeeaaaaaal blurry when it comes to who is the woman and who is the man. I believe in equal pay for women, and women’s rights and such, but (and maybe it’s my religious beliefs) I do believe that there are certain roles we play in relationships that allow things to work cohesively. No matter who makes the most money in my household the man will be the man and I will be the woman. That means he can act as provider, he can fix stuff, and I can be the nurturer and I can run the family. Doing these things doesn’t take away from my independence, my ability to also have a job or anything else (see: Michelle Obama, Claire Huxtable), or even not allow us to occasionally do things in the other’s role. This meaning, he cooks, or I mow the lawn. With that being said, AINT NO WAY, I’m going to let a man think he can be with me for the rest of my life with or without a spiritual commitment. The Bible says (here I go) “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing.” Not.. “She who finds a husband has found a good thing too.” I give props to Mrs. White (or is he Mr. Chatman?) for stepping to the plate and “putting a ring on it.” It just wouldn’t be me. 

 His above quote shows just how willing he was to keep her waiting for that special day. Was he planning on having children with her? While many feel like marriage is not a requirement for having children, I for one don’t plan on putting the cart before the horse. Things happen, true, but I don’t want to plan on it. In her situation she had only been dating him for a year. To her that may have been too long, and the pressure to get married may have been strong. I don’t think that’s too long to date before getting married so I know I wouldn’t have been feeling the itch too bad. However, to me, if its been years and he’s not asking, I wouldn’t feel like marriage is something he wanted and proposing to him instead would be the last thing on my mind. 

I really do wish the best for Mrs. & Mr. Chatman(white?) because no matter how they got there I love to see beautiful married couples. I just can’t wrap my mind around how I could possibly feel comfortable or good knowing that I had to ask HIM, and then knowing that he was content to never ask me at all! 

 What do the people say? Am I out of the loop and doomed for life until I accept this as a possible reality for myself? Was Beyonce off the mark and instead of being in the club, doin her own lil thing she should have put a ring on him? Who buys the ring? Surely she does. Then who puts it on who? Someone please, tell me how this works! 

Questions, questions, DISCUSS!

 

JG*

Behind Closed Doors is going to be a weekly “column” of mine dealing strictly with sex and relationships from my own experiences, my friend’s, and just other observations through conversations or stories that have been passed down. Enjoy. 🙂 

doors

Is the Sex enough?

No girl wants to admit it because sometimes we don’t notice it. We use sex to get our way. That’s why make up sex is so effective. An ex of mine and I used to have this rule: If after an argument we have sex, the argument is dead and moot. There is no bring it back up, the sex has resolved all issues. But did it really? It’s like a transfer of power. Men always want to say that we control all of the power. The power of the P-Pie (as my uncle calls it), the Nonny, the Cookie, whatever you want to call it. Any gentleman will tell you that he proceeds with only the highest level of caution towards the honey pot, and only at the behest of a willing lady. However, women end up with the caught feelings, the parading around in our most scandalous of scantily-clad skivvies, and in the end the strongest heartbreak. Why is that? It’s because while we ladies have the lock, the men have the key and they know that we’ll do anything to keep it if it fits. 

Let me give you some examples of the point I’m attempting to illustrate.

I was reading another blog once and the author mentioned how it’s hard for men to break up with women. The main reason? Because make-up sex is so damn good. The man goes in to end it, she starts crying, the good head game comes out, and it’s a wrap. Dwele mentioned this power of persuasion in his song Shady:she followed it up with head shots called fellatio/ She found my weakness that shady mother f*er…” So is the sex enough? The problem is I don’t think it is. In this case, the man no longer wants to be in the situation, but the woman uses the power of ultimate man-confusion and he’s down for the count not thinking clearly. The dust will settle, and out hearts will pay for it. 

Erykah Badu (congrats on the new baby. It was wild seeing her tweet during labor) sang in Green Eyes/Too Late: “just make love to me/ just one more time and then you’ll see/ I can’t believe I made a desperate plea/ what’s with me?”

But we do this. We think the sex is enough. We think if he will feel us just that one last time, it’ll be enough to convince him that the good times are far better than the bad times, and that they are right around the corner again. I’m sorry ladies but it’s true and it happens. Maybe you’ve grown out of it and you’re better for it, maybe you still do it without thinking. I’m not talking about the women who use sex for money or what have you even though in the Dwele song, she was clearly shady. I’m talking about how sometimes we put our hearts on our Nonny’s thinking that it’ll be easier for him to catch it if it’s there. 

Tough lesson to learn I guess, but you soon realize that a man will never say no to vagina, especially one he’s familiar and comfortable with. Even it means letting you think for a little while that he’s there to stay. We gotta get better at spotting the real from the fake. Is it possible? Is abstinence the only way? Do we have to surpress our desires and urges just to keep our hearts intact? Or can we learn to play his games too?

picture-4

 

 

 

 

JG*

Like  the great T.I. said “Match ya panties with bra get your Sh*t together” 

sexy-bed

 

Seriously though. He had a good point. A while back I blogged about what men have to do to even get to the point of sticking. Well ladies, don’t think you got off easy. I’m not 100% on the “he needs to be paying to get my hair and nails done” thing. I feel like if he’s my boyfriend, then I will appreciate such a treat, but it’s not anything I expect. My mama raised me to make sure I keep that stuff in check on my own. So with that said here is the list ladies. 

 

Match your Panties with your Bra. 

I used to be on the “but do you KNOW how expensive that is?” Excuses for days. I’m also not saying that you should have 30 pairs of panties and 30 bras that all match. Be smart about it. Make sure they match for HIM. Also, 3 pairs of panties with different prints may match 1 bra. And finally, Victoria’s Secret is not the only place that makes good cute bras. I discovered Target a few years ago, and I’ve been much better for it. Besides, I love feeling sexy, so I love to match for myself. It’s and added bonus though when he sees that you pay attention to the details. Remember, your undies are the last thing he sees before you take him to the promised land. Make sure it’s a pretty picture. 

 

Keep your hair and nails done. 

I also blogged before about the black man’s fetish with pretty feet. It’s a reality people. My mother always said a girl who can’t take care of her feet is saying that she can’t take care of her nonny. She said your feet are the first thing that hit the water. I really took that to heart. Again, you don’t have to get gels/acrylics very two weeks, or have the big-toe design. But do keep them manicured and pretty. And please, invest in a foot loofa. Every time you shower, just do a quick scrub of the feet before you exit. Your S.O. will thank you while you’re spooning and your feet are rubbing up against his legs. He doesn’t want you combing his leg hairs with his feet. Not a good look. And the hair, this can be hard if you don’t know how to do your own hair and times are hard. But if you don’t have a girl you can go to, get a style that is low maintenance for you. But just like I said for men, you have to keep the hair clean. Chances are you are shorter than him, you do not want his nose stuck in your sour milk hair. 

 

Keep the lawn manicured

Some women swear by their natural state. But I would venture to say, that most men in the 20 something range prefer for your lawn to be cut. You can get a good brazilian for anywhere around $25-$65. It’s worth it and it lasts weeks. You can get the landing strip, or go full teenager. Just keep that area free of forestry. I always said men appreciate not having to hunt for the gingerbread house. Too much bush and he might get lost. Not to mention, hair traps sweat and odor. I personally feel it’s just a better look as far as hygiene. I cannot back that with scientific fact, but that’s just how I feel. 

 

Cook for him/Drink with him/Let him kick it with his boys. 

I am not so much of an “independent” woman that I can’t get in the kitchen and cook an amazing slap yo’ mama meal. So many women are looking for that “gentleman” but they have forgotten how to be “ladies”. You want him to open doors, take off his jacket and put it over the puddle, pay the bills even if you can afford to (which, Biblically he should) and all sorts of stuff. But then you have no clue how to hard boil an egg. Shame. Guys also want a girl who can drink and hold her own. Not drink him under the table and you have a bigger beer gut than him. But just a show of how you’re comfortable with him, and he can be with you, and you can have a good time too. Lastly, men will love to see you secure enough to let him hang with his boys. The more you are cool with him getting his space, the more he’ll appreciate the time he has with you. He’ll be out with his boys, thinking about that good meal you just made, your sexy hair and nails, and the landing strip awaiting his arrival. He’ll hurry back in no time. 

 

Lately there’s been some talk of female crazy. And it’s so true. It happens. We get caught up and we lose it. All of these things above are sure to drive a man crazy, and they are honestly, all things that we should be doing for ourselves regardless. That’s the ticket to happiness. Take care of your “Star Player” (thanks Katt Williams) and the rest of the team will prosper as well. This is a short list, but I’m not about to let you men folk come in here and start spewing forth all kinds of other randomness like “she should swallow” and blah blah blah. Get it together.

 

Such a mother F’in lady,

JG*

Ever get so drunk that you go beyond belligerent and circle back into complete functionality? Meaning, one minute you’re stumbling, words slurred, and giggling, the next minute you’re waxing poetic about pies and cooking a full 4-course meal. 

That’s how I feel right now. 

It’s 9:30 A.M. and I’m late writing this post because I am still….drunk. 

I broke all sorts of rules last night. I drank on a weekday, I didn’t drink water along the way, and I consumed my beverages within about 45 minutes. 

I wore snakeskin shoes to hang out with someone who has a snake. How rude of me. I also punked one of the co-workers of the friend I was hanging out with because he was baby sitting his drink. Again, how rude of me. LOL 

All this, I am paying for at this moment. I’m at work, but under my cute red peacoat I’m sporting sweats. I’m sure my boss didn’t see me. Now if I can only hide out until 5:30. 

This day is sure to get even more interesting. If you follow me on Twitter, stay tuned. If you don’t, start. LOL 

To my Ranters, give me your best drunk story. 

Also. Don’t forget to hit up JG* Runs the City. It’s a great cause. 

J “sorry this post is so short, I’m drunk!” G*

P.S. I’m doing so well with the things I said I’d change in 2009. This was a baby relapse. LOL Better luck today!