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as I was sitting in ruby Tuesdays with my mom, I happened to notice this older black woman sitting behind my mother. she wore thick glasses with an older frame style, a hat, a puffy vest, and was dressed down overall.


the ugly duckling was actually more beautiful then the others

the ugly duckling was actually more beautiful then the others



but as I sat and watched her, she went from a dumpy older lady to this beautiful woman. she was very polite about ordering her food and when she smiled at the waiter, her youthful dimples were revealed. as I watched her finish her meal and begin to get herself ready to go, I was reminded of the beauty in simplicity and the average.


great movie

great movie



on thursday of last week, sav and I took the girls to see “America the beautiful” which is a documentary on the standards of beauty in America. it was truly an amazing film but more importantly, it teaches to appreciate all things as beautiful, even the things we think lack beauty or take for granted.

there were many beautiful women in ruby Tuesdays. most of them were covered in makeup and had all these tight fitting clothing. but I chose to take notice of the not so obvious beautiful woman and that offered me a new perspective on things in my life period.

so dear readers, what do you think if this? what do you guys think of the standards of beauty that have been set before us? what out of the norm beautiful things do you guys appreciate?

this is my time

— Post From My iPhone



  1. the standard of beauty put in place is not acheiveable. most of the people considered the most beautiful has had plastic surgery, deceptive make up artistry, and airbrushing. dude and I discussed this last week… I’ve been feeling very unattractive over the last month or so. and he keeps telling me I’m beautiful and gorgeous but I just don’t see that. Even in better emotional periods when I do feel attractive and sexy, I don’t think I’m gorgeous or beautiful. I leave that to the Halles of the world.

    Is it because of the media that our view of beauty is so skewed? Most likely. We are unique and just have to learn to love ourselves more and more each day.

    • this couldn’t be more true. i definitely think that you would watch “america the beautiful”. the director does such a great job in pointing out the many ways that we as women are beautiful. the fact that we can procreate and other things to name a few.

      we really sleep on our true beauty which lies within us and i think that we give too much power to the outside world in how we view ourselves.

      now i’m not saying lets burn our bras but i am saying let’s begin to look in the mirror and see ourselves as the beautiful women that we are.

  2. Great post!!!! The standard of beauty that has been implemented on us is unrealistic… there are all these make up ads, wrinkle prevention, surgery, etc that one is expected to subscribe to all while looking completely natural during bed times.

    For a while, I had the hardest time feeling beautiful (even blogged about it way back)…. too much pressure is on being the thinnest chick or the coke bottle… Me, I don’t fall into either one of those categories….

    I agree with Reign.. we have to start loving our uniqueness.

    • very very true. this is one of the reasons that i went to Spelman. in highschool, i was surrounded by the blond hair, blue eyes, “perfect” girls. not that there’s anything wrong with that, but that’s not my standard.

      at spelman, i learned the beauty in black women and that our standards have to be different then our white counterparts (though i think some of their standards are a bit skewed as well).

  3. I’ve gone on about this same subject with friends over and over. There is a mix of feelings on it. I mean, on one side, I can understand inner beauty. I can appreciate a woman dressed down, in PJ’s and a tank top with her crazy bedhead. I mean, I can appreciate a woman who may not be seen as “beautiful” by others… but my standards for beautiful still exist. And since my standards differ from your own, or anybody elses… it’s all relative. Mainly, I think most should give themselves credit and appreciate the beauty in themselves. Once that happens, they’ll find beauty in others, and eventually, in the right places.

  4. This is why I’m such an advocate for defining beauty for ourselves. Society moves according to the media and the media gets paid to sell us products. In order to convince us that we need these products, they have to make our lives seem inferior. Media capitalizes on our insecurities and so we have to learn to how to tune out those voices that tell us what we’re supposed to look like and embrace an attitude of health and love toward our looks and our bodies.

  5. I admit to being caught up in the beauty mask. It looks great. but its another thing to wake up to a woman without it. Natural is the best bet. I have found some of the most ugliest women to be beautiful in the way the carry themselves.they spoke woman! These are my Miss America.

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