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Daily Archives: February 9th, 2009

Thank you to those of you who sent up prayers for my safe travels. I really appreciate it. I’ll blog later this week on here or my other Blog about the trip and my Alvin Ailey experience. 🙂 But for now, back to your regularly scheduled programing. 

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Size DOES matter. 

Women who say it doesn’t, have been missing out. 

But here’s where it gets confusing and difficult to understand. For some women, it’s about length versus girth, for others it’s the other way around. Also, you have to factor in things like shape and contour, but that’s another level and we’ll keep it simple for now. 

It’s not the man’s fault how endowed he is, and he certainly can’t help it or do anything that i’d consider to be normal to change it. With that being said, Own Your Size™. If you’re not big, don’t make a big deal out of it, just silence the critics with an award-winning performance. It has been my experience, and that of many others, that often times, it’s the men with the smallest wangs who talk the biggest game. They are the ones constantly in your ear telling you what they are going to do to you, and how they are going to make you scream. They are also the ones that want to be all elaborate with how they present it to you. They wanna “whip it out” and try to smack you in the head with it. They say things like “yea, you want this fat ****” or “put it ALL in your mouth.” First of all……. It’s Not As Big As You Think. What was that movie that just came out? He’s just not that into you? Well sir, neither is your dilly dally. Of course I’ll put it all in my mouth. No problem, no sweat off my brow. 

Let me back it up. I said that the tone of this blog would be less rude and more supportive. So I’ll start over. 

I understand why men may think they are slinging more weight than they really are. You shouldn’t have no way to compare. I meant outside of Porn, it’s not like you spend loads of time looking at other men’s erect man-poles clearly enough to determine his size and measure against you own. So I think it’s completely acceptable to lack the knowledge of where you actually measure up. But I have something for you, a chart! 

penis-chart

 

Either way, if you aren’t clear on where you stack up, I do not suggest that you go around assuming that you are carrying around a kickstand. What tends to happen is the following scenario:

*during sex*

Mr. *tiny*: Yea girl, you like this? Take allllll that daddy **** girl.

Girl: *thinking to herself* Take all what? *instead she moans like it’s great*

Mr. *tiny*: *after sex* Did you cum? I’m the biggest you’ve ever had huh?

Girl: *mentally rolls her eyes, decides to lie to protect Male Ego* and says* Yes, I came, and yes, it’s big. 

/end scenario.

Simply put, she’s not in a position to come out of her mouth and say, “Well actually, it’s not that big.” Hell, I’ve been walking down the sidewalk and a guy tried to stop me, and me being in my own world I didn’t notice. I then had to listen to the onslaught of “bitch, stuck up hoe, etc” as he followed me. You can see why we’d be hesitant to tell a guy that his most prized possession isn’t as great as he seems to think it is. So she lies, and he believes her and from that point on he treats every sexual situation like he is king ding-a-ling and you should bow as his greatness like Xerxes demanded of Leonitas. 

Men, if a girl willingly and unsolicitedly tells you that you have a big huge wang, you can believe that. If you are small, don’t be disheartened. Despite the stereotypes and the rumors, you may be in the majority. Accept it and learn how to make it work for you. Small wang doesn’t always equal a bad time. If you know how to put in the right kind of work, she’ll never notice. Be humble about it. Don’t hype yourself up to be something you’re not. I’m not saying you should hang your head and tell her on the first date, “I’m sorry, I pee on my turntables”. Just (and this is a lesson for all men) keep the talking to halftime. Come out the gate and show what you’re worth before you start talking sh*t. Learn how to read her body, and then re-write the playbook. 

I know this is a difficult read because a man’s entire philosophy on life goes thru his penis. He will make good/bad decisions based on his penis alone. I don’t mean to offend, but this is “Behind Closed Doors” and I’m trying to put the business out there. Feel me? 

 

JG* 

*Male Ego is the most difficult thing we women deal with EVER. We have to nurture and protect it or else we are done for. It can be as mundane as “yes hunny, you sure did fix that washing machine” or “yes, you changed the oil and my car is running GREAT (after a visit to Jiffy Lube).” to the sad but necessary “oh yes baby, I cum EVERY time you touch me! I’ve never even had an orgasm before you!”