so ladebelle loves the kids and i volunteer with them along with a group of wonderful ladies. **shameless plug for us begins now** as a whole, i think that we are some of the classiest ladies who have such great hearts… **shameless plug over** anywho, we have this program where we do group mentoring for adolescent girls. today’s topic is relationships.
as i was doing research on the phases of relationships to talk to them about, there were some things that struck me that i thought we should speak about here. so many of the male bloggers talk about sex on the first date and now i want to address sex within the relationship period.
ok… so you meet this cute guy (where in the hell you meet him, i have no idea) and he asks you out. and by out i mean to the movies, museum, drinks, or some place in a non-personal atmosphere. so yes, this means that “hey do you want to come over and watch a movie” doesn’t count. you have a great time out on the first date. there was interesting conversation, some chemistry, and there were times where you saw that flash of lust in his eyes. he’s not overbearing with it, but he does a great job of making it known that he’s tryna feel up on your booty sans clothing.
you’re attracted to him too. you feel the butterflies in your tummy. feel some of that heavy, lusty breathing when he turns his head, and you are consistently fighting the cheese that wants to break out on your face. now the thoughts flee from the butterflies in your tummy to the desire of feeling him all up in your tummy. the date is ending. you like him but you lust for him too. so… what do you do?
sex on the first date (isn’t it ironic)
i used to subscribe to the belief that you should just get sex over on the first date to relieve some of that sexual tension that’s in the air. so let’s say you go along with this thinking. now ladies, if you’re what can be considered a “freak” you’re now faced with another problem. do you go all out with your freaky shit or do you just break him in softly? give him enough to be coming back for more and remember your name or do you go out all out and have him looking at you funny in the morning.
an even bigger problem is this. if you give him the proverbial milk without having him buy the proverbial cow, is he gonna think less of you? will you lose all potential of becoming a gf and labeled as the official J.O.? just some things for the ladies to think about and some things for the fella’s to answer…
wait a couple more dates for the sex
ok, you opt to wait a little longer before having dinner with the tube steak and there is still sexual tension rampant in the air. this shit is so thick that you could cut it with a machete. what can sometimes happen here is that neither one of you are being yourselves because you’re so preoccupied with behaving in a say that gets you closer to the either getting the draws or getting something longer term.
how long do you wait until you’re out of the ocean of potential J.O.? do you have sex all the time or does the dating still happen? just some things to think about…
at the end of the day, there’s not going to be a right or a wrong answer. for the ladies that go for there’s on the first date or even the one’s that wait, there will always be benefits or costs. but at the end of the day, staying true to yourself is all that matters.
this is my time…