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I was sitting in my cubbie when a fellow co-worker walked past and my senses were flooded with some cheap cologne that he clearly found it necessary to douse himself with. he had to have been about 3 feet away yet I was still able to feel as though I had been thrown face first into a toilet bowl filled with old spice or whatever the mountain version of this shit is.

as I experienced this, I threatened fellow twitterlings that I would post a blog on the proper usage of smell goods for both men and women… well ladies and gentlemen, here it is…

deodorant cant cover already existing odors

deodorant can't cover pre-existing odors

the guide to proper scent usage

here are a couple things that will help you on your way to finding balance between funk and ‘mmm, you smell delicious’:

1. stuff that sprays does not replace stuff that suds

this is number one for a reason. I remember working in bath and body works and girls coming in who clearly had replaced a shower with a douse of cucumber melon… huge no no. bathing is a must and what’s really hood in whatever year we are in. jumping in the shower hitting the ‘hot spots’ with some soap, water, and wash cloth is a necessary, daily thing. you should embrace this time be it morning, noon, or night.

2. sex is not the only thing that requires lubrication

your skin needs it too. again, this is for men and women alike. fellas, they have unscented or neutral smelling lotions that will soften skin and moisturize all at the same time. ladies, we know that lotion is geared toward is so don’t be afraid to embrace it. don’t run from it and don’t forget to put some on your booty as dudes are now tryna use our booties as pillows. y is lubrication important? because the more supple the skin, the better the scent will absorb and last.

3. layering is not only for cold days

this is an important concept that I learned while working and bath and body works. your scent starts with the soap and you build from there. not only does this help with the scent having some dimension, it ensures that you don’t overdo it with the body splash or cologne. gents, axe and other man brands have made this a possibility for you so you aren’t left out here. starting with a nicely scented soap and following it with a nicely scented lotion empowers your fragrance while not making it overpowering and offensive to those around you. plus, this way the scent lasts longer so at the end of the day when ur boo inhales your essence, they are met with the lingering sensation of the starting scent.

and if none of this makes sense to you, apply the disclaimer ur moms used to tell you while u were washing dishes/clothes: more isn’t always better. if u still don’t smell quite fresh, please see number one and wash your stankin booty!!!

my good people, thoughts? encounters with the people who’d rather cover their funk then wash it away? people in ur lives u feel need to read this? talk to me!!!!

xoxo
“I layer lovely” ladebelle

— Post From My iPhone

xoxo
ladebelle

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17 Comments

  1. Hilarious!! I have a coworker who I know is bathing in the whole Axe line of products. Its so loud and rambunctious that I smell him coming round the corner!

    • that’s a mess… i mean, i know it smells good and all but there has to be a limit… just cause u can’t smell it doesn’t mean we can’t!

  2. LMAO @ that picture!
    this blog is completely true.
    people throw on some perfume/cologne & think they are good to go.
    not really how it works.
    educate! LOL

    • yeah man… not a good look to try and dress the funk up… alllll bad…

  3. I agree with er’thang… I blame those Axe commercials for young guys though… My lil brother used to smell like he sprayed CONTINUOUSLY for three minutes.

    • ROTFLMAO@three minutes!!!! that is soooo foolish!!!

      you should NEVER need 3 minutes worth of spray… ever

  4. Yes but they r hilarious!!!! Idk if my lil bro uses it but I could see a guy trying to be like the ones on the commercial!

    • axe needs to do a commercial on the side effects of over spraying cuz then it works like a repellent

      • OMG! I was in like 10th or 11th grade wehn Axe first hit the mass market, you would think that shit had exploded in the hallways. It’s the worst! The campagin cleary provided instructions (you always see dudes in the ads applying directy post shower, to bare skin!), but most aren’t picking up on this!

  5. You also might add that conflicting scents aren’t the best either. It’s nothing worse that smelling dueling odors.

    • so true… so true… smelling like fresh mountain air clashing with the woodsmen… not a good look…

  6. Good point in the comments about just because you can’t smell it doesn’t mean others can’t…. this goes for funk AND smell goods. People need to remember that after awhile of using a scent your nose gets used to it. I think that’s why people add more and more because they think THEY need to be able to smell it. I was just reminded of that today…. a lady complimented me on my perfume and I can’t smell it at all.

    Also, layering doesn’t have to be all the same scent, but everything (soap, lotion, deodorant, cologne) should be complimentary. My beau is a master at that and it creates his own unique scent so he’s not smelling like every other guy wearing Dolce Light Blue. And if you are in doubt, ask someone!

    • yessss…. this asking someone is critical… get a friend that tells the truth and hit them up whenever in doubt!!!

  7. My new supervisor smells like he took a bath in his cologne before he came to work (gag). I can tell if he got to work before me because the elevator will smell like him. I’m thinking of typing up an anonymous memo and leaving it on his desk.

    • that’s the worst when u follow behind a trail of scent… smdh… i think they think that’s hot/sexy

  8. wow…little did i know there was a protocol to smelling right. does it say little of me that i “Accidentally” follow the correct procedure? Yep, i do the shower, the lotion, and then just a hint of cologne, but only ONE spray (from about 12 inches away) on my neck, followed by a rub…can’t have the cologne all over my gear ya dig…the neck is good enough.

    • no, that says somebody raised you with some good sense! keep it up and pass it on down the lineage!


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