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ok… so here’s the scenario…

candace and jared are friends. they’ve been friends for a while and have helped each other get through some times together. they started having sex but luckily this didn’t change the dynamics of their friendship-they were friends who would occasionally bump uglies. candace will on occasion help jared at his store because he’s been going through some hard times. one nite, after the store closes and they all go out for drinks, jared invites a stripper friend along with them. candace, jared, joanne (the stripper friend) and some of the store staff are all kickin it at the bar when jared calls candace over to talk with him and joanne. jared says “i would like to introduce you two and two people i’m having sex with. i think you guys should get to know each other.” 

we’ll take a pause here because dear readers, i want to know what you would do in this scenario. ladies, would you pop off and go crazy? brush it off and have your poker face on? or not think anything of it? fellas, what would you expect the candace to do? what type of reaction would be too crazy, if any? would you do this to two girls you were sleeping with?

talk to me!!!! 



“doesn’t hate on strippers… it’s a recession and i put be pullin my g-string out for tips soon too” ladebelle


  1. I don’t understand. I wouldn’t pop off on the spot (I don’t know her like that, I’m not about making public scenes), but I’m tryna figure out his purpose. Like is he tryna get a 3some happeing or something? Is he just trying to be open & honest? They supposed to exchange tips & tricks?

    • ROTFLMAO @ “they supposed to exchange tips & tricks?”

      girl… hell if i know… this scenario was sent to me for advice on what to do… lol… smdh

  2. I promise you that fool-azz dude was fishing for a 3sum. He already talked to JoAnne about it and as the more liberated of the two *side-eye*, she’s down. Poor Candance has been thrown for a loop and is standing there stuck on stupid.

    But this is what you subject yourself to when you consent to and participate in the Jump-Off situation. You become his blow-up doll, objectified for his satisfaction, amusement and edification. He’ll do anything to you because you ain’t really real.

    Candace better run like the wind!!

    • lmao!!! i so love you ca…

      so u don’t think that she should even think about the friendship?

      • Ronnie, the friendship was forever and irrevocably damaged when she started having sex w/him. There is no such thing as “the friend zone”, especially after they’ve already done the do. It’s a wrap on all that friend stuff.

        • dang… really? i mean, i’ve had sex with friends and we’re still great now…

          • Sure, but is it the same as before? And which do you prefer?

            • yeah… it’s definitely the same as before… i mean, his sex was great but he’s the greatest friend so i do prefer his friendship

    • Maybe Candace was just as liberated because she didn’t have a problem ” bumping uglies ” with him?

      • uhhhh… **dead**

      • I doubt it. She was tryna be all sweet to him, like a lil’ cotton-headed fool, and he’s looking at her like some means to an end. Psshh. They’ve been friends for a long time, so she knew he wasn’t shyt. She played herself, in this instance.

        • LOL….she played herself cause she wanted to fuck him? Suppose she was just attracted to him and vice versa?

    • I agree, he was fishing for a threesome, that is classic “man logic” to try to get something to pop off!

  3. He a tough dude for that. Can’t say I would be so bold even though he not in a relationship with neither. I can only assume he was either drunk or lay down the ground work for a 3sum. Although I would hope they didn’t spazz out since he wasn’t in a relationship.

  4. Jared has some big balls. I’m sure he’s been wanting to do that for a while. I probably wouldn’t embarrass my friend like that. I think he wants a threesome. He obviously has no shame, I don’t think he feels guilty about sleeping with two women. I’d expect Candace to slap me or simply walk away. She’s his friend and not some skeeeooo.

    • ROTFLMAO @ skeeeooo!!!! that is too funny!!!

      hmmm… ur expectations are interesting… so no poppin off at the bar? jk

  5. ok… since you all have answered with your input, i will too…

    i think you guys have all hit on some important things. candace did seemingly set herself up for the okie doke. if i were in this situation, i would probably just walk away seething. or pop off at the bar…lol…i’m a hothead what can i say?

    but i would have a conversation with him later about that. i’m a firm believer in communicating as adults so i would definitely try that out …

  6. As long as Jared was respectful when he brung it to my attention I wouldnt be mad or flip out at all. I respect a man that can be upfront and honest about who hes having sex with especially if he got yall out kickin it in the club together. What would I be mad for?? He not my man, Im still free to talk to and do whatever I want, so as long as im protecting myself if me and him are just “fuck buddies” then what reason would I have to be mad. I knew what the situation was and since we aint making it official with each other then how can you be mad.

    I would probably be mad if he didnt tell me cause if im kickin it wit this girl and we become friends i dont want us smashin the same dude…

    • hmmm… this is such an interesting point and different from all the rest… so u wouldn’t feel slighted at his timing of the introduction or the “lumping” of someone who’s a friend (candace) with someone who he’s fucking?

      • no i wouldnt feel slighted at his timing at all. I feel like it was the perfect time if that was her first time seeing the other chick(the stripper). Of course if it were me I would have wanted to know as soon as the clothes hit the floor that they were having sex with each other but maybe he was scared of her reaction and felt like since they both were there that it would be perfect timing to tell them both or either he’s a drama king and wanted to see if something would pop off.

        Now the wrong time to tell her would have been after the two ladies had kicked it a lot and have become kinda close friends. After he told me i would have either stopped having sex with him because i felt like she was potentially a good friend or either stopped kickin wit her cause i wouldnt wanna be seen wit her knowing she was his other fuck buddy…it would’ve just been too weird.

    • *hand clap like we on family feud * Great Answer Great Answer

      • @ MrWisperz you

        But seriously unless dude was out in the streets tryna make you look bad, by makin it seem like you a hoe or something when he knows thats not the agreement that yall had, then theres no reason to be mad.

        I’ve been in a situation where me and a guy were “fuck buddies” but to his friends he made it seem like i was just some random hoe. The reason why were just “fuck buddies” is because he wanted me to be his girl friend but i didnt want to be with him like that so if the only way i was gonna spend time with him was when i wanted to have sex with him he was gone take advantage of the opportunity just to be around me. Of course he didnt tell his friends that and it ended up gettin back to me and was turned into a really bad situation.

        I feel like if you are in a “fuck buddy arrangement” and one of the people in that arrangement start to catch feelings its time to end it. If sex was all that was supposed to happen then it needs to stay that way until both parties agree to take that arrangement to the next level but it will always end up goin in a direction it doesnt need to go in if one wants one thing and the other person wants something else, i.e. me and my ex fuck buddy

        • michemo = my soul sister… **sigh**

          i think my bigger question is at what point does the treatment get under your skin? i think everyone has a standard for how they would like to be treated so when does that violate? i mean, even if we are friends who happen to be fucking, there’s still a standard there.

          • I say you only get treated bad if you allow someone to treat you bad.

            if we are “just fucking” then im not going to be expecting you to take me on dates and to the movies, if you do then fine, but at that point you guys are not longer “just fucking”. you cant spend intimate time going to dinner and movies with a “fuck buddy” because feelings will get involved. If i want dates and all that I’ll go find someone for that them if that developes into a sexual relationship i’ll then start having sex with him which will result in the “fuck buddy” losing his position to someone who has boyfriend/husband potential. you cant have a potential boyfriend and a fuck buddy on the side cause then you’ll be doing to much. the fuck buddy may know about the potential boyfriend, but if the potential boyfriend finds out about the fuck buddy will he still want you??? Probably not

              • MrWhisperz
              • Posted March 5, 2009 at 3:49 pm
              • Permalink

              I’m gonna need you to teach a course on this. I know a lot of females understand the rules of engagement but a lot don’t. Go on and setup a workshop and work it out.

  7. So … what does the fact that his friend is a stripper have to do with anything???

    Well … personally I would never ever ever do this. I mean … it might be ok to tell one about the other, it might be even cool to just introduce the two once although they know who they are, but there is no reason in hell you should introduce the two women to each other as “the other person I’m f*ing” … unless you want a threesome.

    If the next thing out this guy’s mouth isn’t “lets have a threesome” … then I’m going to personally find him and give him the official SBM dummy slap.

  8. I don’t understand these comments AT ALL. The chick was having wild, no-strings-attached sex. What is wrong in hoping she’d be interested in increasing the fun? If she’s not down, she’s not down. I think you all still think that sex with friends = relationship. How naive.

    The idea of her being playing as a hoe? The ship has sailed on that one. If he thinks she is, he thought it a LONG time ago. However, threesomes are NOT something only hoes do. The older I get, I swear, I think black folk are just way too sexually repressed. It’s unfortunate.


  9. Hello all… My Name is Jared and I do believe that as wonderfully imaginative as all of Your Comments have been… In defense of Myself, I need to let it be known that as some of You have stated I’m not in a relationship. However I am sexually active. When Candace & I became friends Our time is just that OUR time we’re Friends and will always be that. The same goes for Joanne & I… Now I know that My Timing may have been a bit off but my intention wasn’t. I hear all too often how Women just want us as Men to be Honest… “JUST BE HONEST… I WON’T BE MAD” Now that, to the best of My knowledge, is not the thought process here per se but, the same rules do apply… WOMEN WANT MEN TO BE HONEST! Like I said My choice of Forum may not have been the best but, I meant what I said. And it wasn’t about a Threesome… I’ve had My fairshare of them and It’s not as Cracked Up as it sounds… All of these Dudes that are on here suggesting that, might not have actually been involved in one themselves or are trying to make themselves look good to score some Internet Pussy Cred but that’s a completely different topic of discussion. Both of these women approach Sex in completely different ways and I know that their Styles together would not mesh in a threesome(SEX IS AN ARTFORM IN MY OPINION, DEAL WITH IT!!!). From My Point of View, I felt at the time, that the situation had the potential to get Heavy. And by Heavy I mean that at some point the 2 of them are gonna proposition me for My Time or vis versa. They don’t know each other and were probably trying to figure out why the other was there in the first place… So to avoid any potential Hostility or Innuendo… I got My Grown Man on, stepped up and TOLD THE TRUTH… Like I said if there is a Crime it was committed by a lack of judgement in where I chose to make this information known. Could I have handled it differently? Sure. Did I handle it wrong? Absolutely Not in My Opinion. Shit, I’m quite sure that most Women if put in that situation would rather prefer that the Truth be told instead of being lied to or watching Dude DUCK & DODGE Shit!!! So before all of the judgements start flying… I felt that being I was one of the People involved in this situation, that I’d put My 2 Cents in… Ladebelle… I love the Site and the Conversations… you take care.



  10. Jared. You’re what’s up. Honesty is always paramount. As for sex being an art form, I wholeheartedly agree. You generally don’t get musical harmony from combining classical, J-rock, and southern rap. Two of the three–maybe. But if you have rock, blues, and funk, you might have an excellent melody…

  11. Jared,

    Gettin your grown man on don’t mean you potentially insult two women you’re involved with, especially if either or both are your friends. Your desire to be honest is cool but how about that should of come before hand. Before you invite them into the same space… or you could of pulled each to the side and given a heads up… my prayer is that both of the ladies acted as such– ladies–and didn’t pop off at the mouth. When you care about someone take into account their feelings in the matter.

    For that matter, how did they react?

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