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Like  the great T.I. said “Match ya panties with bra get your Sh*t together” 



Seriously though. He had a good point. A while back I blogged about what men have to do to even get to the point of sticking. Well ladies, don’t think you got off easy. I’m not 100% on the “he needs to be paying to get my hair and nails done” thing. I feel like if he’s my boyfriend, then I will appreciate such a treat, but it’s not anything I expect. My mama raised me to make sure I keep that stuff in check on my own. So with that said here is the list ladies. 


Match your Panties with your Bra. 

I used to be on the “but do you KNOW how expensive that is?” Excuses for days. I’m also not saying that you should have 30 pairs of panties and 30 bras that all match. Be smart about it. Make sure they match for HIM. Also, 3 pairs of panties with different prints may match 1 bra. And finally, Victoria’s Secret is not the only place that makes good cute bras. I discovered Target a few years ago, and I’ve been much better for it. Besides, I love feeling sexy, so I love to match for myself. It’s and added bonus though when he sees that you pay attention to the details. Remember, your undies are the last thing he sees before you take him to the promised land. Make sure it’s a pretty picture. 


Keep your hair and nails done. 

I also blogged before about the black man’s fetish with pretty feet. It’s a reality people. My mother always said a girl who can’t take care of her feet is saying that she can’t take care of her nonny. She said your feet are the first thing that hit the water. I really took that to heart. Again, you don’t have to get gels/acrylics very two weeks, or have the big-toe design. But do keep them manicured and pretty. And please, invest in a foot loofa. Every time you shower, just do a quick scrub of the feet before you exit. Your S.O. will thank you while you’re spooning and your feet are rubbing up against his legs. He doesn’t want you combing his leg hairs with his feet. Not a good look. And the hair, this can be hard if you don’t know how to do your own hair and times are hard. But if you don’t have a girl you can go to, get a style that is low maintenance for you. But just like I said for men, you have to keep the hair clean. Chances are you are shorter than him, you do not want his nose stuck in your sour milk hair. 


Keep the lawn manicured

Some women swear by their natural state. But I would venture to say, that most men in the 20 something range prefer for your lawn to be cut. You can get a good brazilian for anywhere around $25-$65. It’s worth it and it lasts weeks. You can get the landing strip, or go full teenager. Just keep that area free of forestry. I always said men appreciate not having to hunt for the gingerbread house. Too much bush and he might get lost. Not to mention, hair traps sweat and odor. I personally feel it’s just a better look as far as hygiene. I cannot back that with scientific fact, but that’s just how I feel. 


Cook for him/Drink with him/Let him kick it with his boys. 

I am not so much of an “independent” woman that I can’t get in the kitchen and cook an amazing slap yo’ mama meal. So many women are looking for that “gentleman” but they have forgotten how to be “ladies”. You want him to open doors, take off his jacket and put it over the puddle, pay the bills even if you can afford to (which, Biblically he should) and all sorts of stuff. But then you have no clue how to hard boil an egg. Shame. Guys also want a girl who can drink and hold her own. Not drink him under the table and you have a bigger beer gut than him. But just a show of how you’re comfortable with him, and he can be with you, and you can have a good time too. Lastly, men will love to see you secure enough to let him hang with his boys. The more you are cool with him getting his space, the more he’ll appreciate the time he has with you. He’ll be out with his boys, thinking about that good meal you just made, your sexy hair and nails, and the landing strip awaiting his arrival. He’ll hurry back in no time. 


Lately there’s been some talk of female crazy. And it’s so true. It happens. We get caught up and we lose it. All of these things above are sure to drive a man crazy, and they are honestly, all things that we should be doing for ourselves regardless. That’s the ticket to happiness. Take care of your “Star Player” (thanks Katt Williams) and the rest of the team will prosper as well. This is a short list, but I’m not about to let you men folk come in here and start spewing forth all kinds of other randomness like “she should swallow” and blah blah blah. Get it together.


Such a mother F’in lady,



  1. (looking in the mirror at my star play) “today is a tall day..i think we look 5’5

    Geezy my neezy u are so on point we were just talking abt this on friday when I went out abt woman not knowing how to be ladies and how to treat a man. my parents have been married for 35 years and while it hasn’t been all roses (thats another blog for another day) I learned how to treat a man by example. some women honestly may not know from not having exposure growing up. which is a sad state in america today.

    I have no problem catering to the man who will be mine but my thing is who is deserving of all the things I have in me to do for a man that I love.

    u should blog about what makes a man golden..i had gotten this email td jakes wrote about mates and PH’s. honey it was so deep it put mad ish into perspective for me.

  2. Sigh. I miss the days of my 40K yearly salary and leisurely perusing H&M for matching bra and panty sets.

    Now that I’m temping to support my writing habit, baby boy is going to have to take what he can get on the underwear side. But I’m with you on every other point you made. I also agree that women should do these things for themselves. Learn to cook for yourself so that when you do it for a guy, it’s not “catering” as much as it’s just courteous. Not everybody is going to throw down like Grandma, but hell, we should all have at least two meals in our personal arsenals that we whip up for ourselves occasionally.

  3. jg. i agree wholeheartedly. i needed this blog. i’ve been contemplating gettin it groomed [i am a virgin to the lawn mower] and i think you’ve just convinced me. i’ll let u know how that goes. lol. [tmi].

    also, i think a lot of white women understand these principles and gain an advantage on us sbw because we don’t always do these things. [sometimes we can’t] but an effort needs to be made, i feel… for your man. so thanx for the reminder. i need to take better care of myself, anyway…

  4. @Jenay… I agree. White women have been hip to the game for a long time. We’re just now exploring and owning our own sexuality, so it has had us at a disadvantage.

    I have been a dancer for years. I don’t think I’ve ever had a full bush. I was shaving at like 14.

  5. @jg wow. well yep. it’s going down, very soon. email me any tips for pain management, etc., lol, shawty. lol

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