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Daily Archives: December 24th, 2008

or just dick…

***merry christmas eve everyone!!!***

dick-and-jane

so people say that there is power in pussy, but there is also power in dick as well… this is evident to any/every heterosexual female out there… let me elaborate on this…

from the time that a woman meets a man, she sizes him up wondering just how big he is and if he’s good in the sack. so you get to know him, find the things that make him tick and the things that simply tick you off about him… so you guys finally get to the point where it comes time for him to lay the pipes down… now 1 of 3 things can happen.

scenario 1: you guys are all hot and heavy and you’re craving to feel him inside of you. you can’t wait any longer and you reach down and grab his love stick and you are surprised. now, i didn’t say pleasantly surprised but more disappointed then anything. you find that his love stick is no bigger then a slim tampon. so you proceed to have pity sex, faking pleasure sighs while all the time your wishing that he would hurry up and finish and get the hell out. after you find out that he doesn’t have the equipment to please you, everything that you did like about him seems insignificant and those things that somewhat bothered you became blaringly annoying… you can’t stand his voice, let alone his touch or his presence… you begin to resent him, and finally cut things off, saying that it’s you, not him when you know what the real reason was…

scenario #2: you guys are passionately kissing… the mouth leads to the neck and then his chest and then his stomach and his pants somehow come off and you see his love stick and think, “hey, this is workable”… after massaging his love stick with your tongue, you give into your cravings to have him… this is when you find out that he is NOT as experienced as you thought. the position is missionary and that’s it. he doesn’t know how to change positions and doesn’t want to… he doesn’t really know the stroking techniques but you submit to rabbit fucking cuz hey, it feels ok… you vow to teach him a thing or two so that things can really take off for you guys… (see how scenario #3 ends)

scenario #3: you are lying on your back out of breath with a huge smile and try to recap what the hell just happened… it all started with an innocent kiss… then he had you pinned against the wall, his body pressed up against yours… you can feel his heart beating hard and fast against you… his kisses move from your mouth to your neck as his hands move from your waist to removing your top… then his mouth is at your breasts and his hands are at your pants… everything moving so fast… he’s on his knees, your knees are over his shoulders, the room is spinning and and then you’re spinning… you’re upside down caressing his love stick with your tongue as he probes you with his… then you think, “oh shit, he just pulled a justin the slayer move!!” he’s had enuff you’re feet are back on the floor and mouthes are pressed passionately against eachother. he grabs your ass and lifts you onto him. he takes you right there, on the wall… the rest is a blur… and now you’re lying here with him sleeping next to you… you can’t even remember the bad things about him… him? annoying? never… in your mind, this man is perfect!!!

i think i got off the topic at hand… well… the bottom line here is that with great dick, you have the power to blind women… you make her mad, bring home some flowers and the family pack of trojan and go to work!!! i guarantee she’ll forget what the hell she was so damn mad about! i know i would! now, you have no ‘motion’ but u have a great tool, well, u know they say practice makes perfect so you should probably invest in that family pack as well… now, if u don’t have a proper tool, well, i don’t know what to say other then don’t come holla at me!!! lol…

xoxo

ladebelle

Today’s blog will be about Road Rage as I make my way 5 hours south of Atlanta to Florida, my home. It will be a late one, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, it may change as I’ll have plenty of time to think up some other good ish…. 

 

 

Until then,

 

JG*