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Pardon me love but you seem like my type
What you doin tonight? you should stop by the site
We could, roll some weed play some records and talk
I got a fly spot downtown brooklyn, new york
Now I know you think I wanna fuck, no doubt
But tonight well try a different route, how bout we start
With a salad, a fresh bed of lettuce with croutons
Later we can play a game of chess on the futon
See I aint got to get in your blouse
Its your eye contact, that be getting me aroused
When you show me your mind, it make me wanna show you mines
Reflecting my light, when it shines, just takin our time
Before the nights through, we could get physical too
I aint tryin to say I dont wanna fuck, cause I do
But for me boo, makin love is just as much mental
I like to know what Im gettin into


Ahhhh yes… the oh so sweet sounds of dead prez serenade me and take me back to my freshman year at good ole spelman.


The first time I heard this song, I was like, “mind sex? is that some kind of new oral sex?” yes folks, ladebelle’s mind was dirty from the start. But as I’ve gotten older (and hopefully wiser) I’ve learned just what dead prez was talking about in this song.


“We could have mind sex, we aint got to take our clothes off yet
We can burn the incense, and just chat
Relax, I got the good vibrations
Before we make love lets have a good conversation

Its time for some mind sex, we aint got to take our clothes off yet
We can burn the incense, and just chat
Relax, I got the good vibrations
Before we make love lets have a good conversation
Time for some mind sex…


But how many of us have really had mind sex BEFORE taking your clothes off? I know that I’ve been VERY guilty of having the physical sex before even thinking about the mind sex. my theory has been that I should find out whether or not this dude’s physical sex is good enough to even delve into the depths of mind sex. maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s not.


In previous entries, I’ve hinted that I have a twisted view of sex and I’ve even written a blog on my theories of sex/cheating in relationships. but now my dear readers, it’s time to share my twisted views on the not-so-taboo topic of sex, generally speaking.


As my the title of my blog suggests, I’m a wild child. Not really the hippie type (I do like to rock a short, curly frock) but I do have my non-traditional thoughts regarding the once-taboo topic of sex. I think that most people were raised to wait until marriage to have sex and all this other nonsense. My moms never told me that specifically, but she did tell me to be safe about the sex that I did have and to wait until I was ready.


Well, I didn’t wait until I was ready but I have been safe so I shooting 1 for 2. anywho, once I really started dating, I found that there was always this sexual tension that was between me and the guy. And that due to this sexual tension, we would always introduce each other to our “agents” (the front hiding who we really are and enables us to just tell people what they want to hear). Well, I’ve had my heart broken many times before after finding out that I didn’t meet the man of my dreams, rather one of the many who wanted my panties.


So I decided that I would no longer entertain these “agents” and that sex earlier on would at least take this tension away. It did AND it let me know whether this person’s sex game made them eligible for the real prize… ME…


See, sex really doesn’t have much value in my book. It’s about the nut, whether you can please me, and whether you are just pleasing in general. However, mind sex is a whole nother ball game. If I’m sharing my mind and my emotions with you, then that’s when things get serious.


So dear readers, what do you guys think? Do you think that sex is this super sacred thing that should only be shared with someone you love or do you place your value on your mind sex?


***Admin Note: Please remember to submit your stories to… I’m thinking that the best story will get a risqué gift!!!***







  1. While I regard sex highly, and see it as something that not just anyone can have, I also have open-minded views on the act. I feel like there are too many stereotypes and illusions out there about sex that need to be halted. That might be tomorrow’s blog.

    Mind sex is major for me. I need to know you can reach my mind before my g-spot.

  2. I swear ladebelle, we’re conjoined twins separated at the head at birth. I’m also one of those odd women who can see sex as just sex. It really sucks to get all emotionally invested only to have that bubble instantly burst when you find out the sexual chemistry ain’t there. Meanwhile you’ve wasted a lot of time, emotional energy, & AA batteries. The result of this attitude is also there being no hard feelings after the deed because you don’t feel hoodwinked or gamed out your panties, and the guy doesn’t feel like he wasted time trying to talk you out of em. At least, that’s how I look at it.

    I do think, tho, that good mind sex can greatly improve physical sex. It creates a whole new energy flow. I’ll take the upgrade as time goes along over the letdown at the finale. Maybe other women don’t enjoy it and can stomach lackluster D, but I can’t.

    • I’m gonna have to blog on this. I see sex as just sex when that’s what it is. And more when it’s more. LOL i.e. in a relationship. I’m that girl that DOES not settle for bad D though. Oh wowsa. I can’t wait to blog on this. LOL Thanks ladebelle. We’re one hell of a team.

  3. ok, so what is mind sex really? stimulating conversation??? like characteristics?? if thats the case we have mind sex everday, w/ some people we shouldnt be mind fucking. its some bullshit if you ask me. its just like the cliche’ of fucking vs. making love or to love vs. being in love. its all the same females(no offense) use these cliches’ at their convenience to make them feel more secure, amongst other things. mind sex is nothing more then finding out if you are interested in someone. its the process of getting to know, or falling for someone. isnt that the reason why woman will have sex faster with the men that just have a physical attraction to, as opposed to a man who they are interested in?? so can you even make love w/o having mind sex?? how often do you have mind sex? is it just done that initial time? dont think you can really define mind sex. mind sex is nothing more then getting to know someone or realizing you have something in common w/someone else. anything else would be uncivilized. but this is just one man’s opinion.

  4. @mufasa… to answer your questions… no, you can’t make love without have mind sex… mind sex is the equivalent to being open and vulnerable with your most sacred things (mind, heart) so for most people, not often. love the “devil’s advocacy” here!

    @anesidora… yes, it seems we are kindred spirits or twins separated at birth!!! i’m looking bettie up as we speak! lol

    @JG*… yess… we are an awesome team!!! lol

  5. Mind sex is the prize, without it he/she will not be by your side.
    When times roll hard and days long. It will be mind sex that keep you two going sstrong. with laughter, smiles and sweet tears. nothing will beat I love you whispered in your ear.

  6. Mind sex is what makes the relationship last. If all you’re doing is f’ing, then it’s not a relationship, you’re each others jumpoff. I always have great mind sex on top of great sex. My first mind sex experience was the 2nd semester of my freshman year in college. Right before he went on line, we had crazy mind sex, both of us laying naked in bed, me on top. nice! we didn’t have sex for the first time until three months later after he crossed. oh the memories!

  7. ok, so i have a question. from what i have read, its seems as if mind sex holds alot more weight then just sex. seems as if mind sex enhances sex like none other. so what if you having great mind sex… you start sinking in your own water flow like you the titanic or some shit, and then penis is whack, how special is the mind sex now???

    • LOL Good point. If you’re Hubby Material, I may teach you a few things to make the wang work. But if the wang is totally just not workable, we may just need to be friends who have deep convos. LOL

  8. @utterhip… VERY well stated… me likey that!

    @reign… PREACH!!! that sounds like my first experience with the song

  9. I gotta say … I’m all for mind sex first.

    For a long time I had just been going the casual sex route. Then I settled my ass down and got a girlfriend.

    I forgot how good it was …

    Now that that situation is over with … looking for the next bun.

  10. i’m all for physical sex but “mind sex” first makes the physical sex more enjoyable.

  11. I agree that mind sex enhances physical sex.
    For example.. The was this girl whom i went to school with and i hadnt seen her in like 3 years.. and when I saw her again we had sum good old fashioned physical But after I spent more time with her and learned more about her the sex increased in intensity and enjoyability because not only were we connecting on a physical level but on a mental level.
    And i think it works both ways.. You can have physical sex with a person and once u really get to know them, be turned off forever.

  12. I love that song!! I think you have to need mind sex to make the physical sex that much better. If you got the mind you already have the body…if that makes sense.

  13. Sex is something that should be shared. Our bodies shouldn’t belong to just one person. Everybody needs love. It is a sin to hoard things for ourselves.

  14. @damany… you are such a fool… but u do speak some truth’s here…lol… do you share your mind/emotions too?

    @MsD @spaceman @SBM… i agree that mind sex does make physical sex better but i also feel like mind sex is a waste of time if the physical sex isn’t poppin… i mean, the mind can only do so much… it surely can’t make a 3inch twig a 9inch snake, ya dig?

  15. Both physical sex & mental sex are sacred in my book. I’m a strong subscriber to the belief that any form of sex with another individual makes you better or worse BUT NEVER THE SAME. You’ll have to change in some way. With all the deceit & false faced characters out today it’s hard to tell who you’re becoming intimate with if you never delve beneath the surface & see people with your “third eye.” In that case I wouldn’t knock your idea on sex at all Aaronica. However I’m one who can see the true intentions of certain people kind of like “the mentalist” at certain times & if you own such an ability then you should treasure your privates and save them for a person you KNOW for sure is worthy of the prize.

  16. Share my mind? Share my emotions? Of course! When I’m gettin it, I’ll share almost anything.

  17. @ladebelle– I guess for women the situation is slightly different. Because a woman who doesn’t know what she is doing in the bedroom (or where ever it happens to go down) can be taught how to do the things that will please her partner(s). Whereas a man who is lacking in the genital area can’t really do anything about it without surgery or medication.
    So my question to You is, do you think it is possible for the mind sex to be so great that it picks up the slack where the physical sex is lacking?

  18. I think of mind sex as simply getting to know somebody. It doesn’t necessarily cross the lines into an emotional connection for me. My attraction has to be more than skin deep. In my younger days I could hop in the sack with a cute face, little bitty waist, and a round booty without her even opening her mouth. However, as I’ve gotten older I require more stimulation (mind fucking if you will) even if it’s just going to be a sexual relationship/contact. I do want to know a little bit about you first. I don’t need to konw your blood type but I need some information to help temp my senses.

    Here’s the tricky part; in my experience women tend to confuse mind sex with “feelings”. I don’t know too many women who can separate the physical act of sex from their emotions. Then you put a scoop of some earth shattering mind fucking on top and there’s bound to be a misunderstanding…..

    To answer the question sex probably should be sacred from a moral and ethical perspective especially if you’re a person interested in the sanctity of matrimony. However, the problem is “it’s so good when it hits your lips”!

  19. Cosigning with joepistone a little bit.

    I’m not one for casual sex. I can’t really have sex with a man that I dont have feelings for and I also recognize when the feeling isn’t mutual and make sure I dont hop on a penis that isn’t interested in more than just fucking. I am that chic that joe talks about when he says, “I don’t know too many women who can separate the physical act of sex from their emotions. Then you put a scoop of some earth shattering mind fucking on top and there’s bound to be a misunderstanding…..” Thank God I recognized that early on I can get attached to a man I barely like, just because we have sex. That realization helped me bypass plenty of misunderstandings.

    So I only have physical sex with dudes who I know want more than the casual fling. Lucky for me, every man I’ve had sex with has been tony the tiger “GRrrreat!!” lol Seriously. So, with that being the case, I’ve never been faced with getting to know a guy, liking him, doing the mind sex thing, and then having to walk away because he couldn’t satisfy me physically. That would surely suck on a major level.

  20. @suga I like your honesty…

One Trackback/Pingback

  1. By Blog » Blog Archive » ladebelle on 21 Feb 2009 at 12:21 pm

    […] i greeted my woman i did so with my heart in my hands. thank youding.She went deep in her “it’s time for some mind sex” Its a wake up call to all you players thinking you got, when you have been had. It never […]

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