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Daily Archives: December 4th, 2008

 

Educated Black Person

Educated Black Person

I have no idea. 

 

I think it started when I was young. My mother told me that being pretty was cute and all, but everyone loves the Smart Girl. What the hell was she talking about? Either way, I was the Straight A, Cheerleader, Dancer, SGA Parliamentarian (lost the President Race), advanced student. (Shout out to all my IB students!) I was smart. 

Great. 

Went to a great college, watched our football team fall from glory (I’m still angry about this. Seriously. This upcoming Saturday will be the peak of my anger), and double majored in Finance & Multinational Business. I did all of this while pledging the best Sorority known to women, sitting on the Executive Cabinet of SGA, pledging the best/worst Business Fraternity, and dedicating myself to my community. So tell me…. tell me WHY do I want to start that mess all over again? 

Again, I think the Good Mr. West can answer this one for me. The economy is tanking, shit is falling apart all around us and it’s getting to be like armageddon around here. WIth that being said, once I lose everything I’ve ever loved, I’ll have something very important to keep me warm at night. My Degrees. I’m currently pursuing my MBA, and I’ve got this shit down to a science. I’m applying to two Top 10 schools and another school that’s pretty prestigious but ranked slightly lower. Knowing this, my application has to be tight. Work experience; check, GPA; check, Letters of Recommendation; check, Essays; check X 12 (I had to write 12 F’in essays), GMAT…….

The GMAT.

This is really what my rant is about today. 

 

I think this says enough

I think this says enough

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I paid $1400 for a GMAT class (Shout out to Manhattan GMAT! I’m sellin’ my books people. Let me know if you want ’em!) spent 9 weeks of my life dedicating myself to the endless torture of scoring a 750 (or better!) and today my friends, today I stand here a broken woman. I take the test next Wednesday (pray for me) and my nerves are fucking gone. Everything is about the GMAT to me. A friend asked me a random question and in my mind I listed the options A, B, C, D, E, and began to use Process of Elimination™ to reasonably come up with a response. When typing online, I tend to use GMAT Sentence Correction techniques to proofread my typing. This is taking over my life. 

The GMAT was created by Satan. 

 

He totally created the GMAT

He totally created the GMAT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The GMAT is designed to mess with your mind. All things that are reasonable and common in the world are thrown out and replaced with a clusterfuck of trickery. And of course! As with all Standardized Tests it is probably the one thing that Business Schools look at the hardest. Sure, they say that’s not the case, oh but it is. I’ve visited all of my school choices and when the GMAT was mentioned, a chill went through the room. The GMAT has become the bane of my existence. It hates me and I hate it. I eat, sleep, drink the GMAT. Even during moments of intimacy and passion, I’m repeating in my head the cube roots of the first 13 numbers. 

I need help. 

If anyone out there has anything they think can help me. Let me know. All of this just to become one of the Elite EBPs. What’s so hot about being an Educated Black Person? I mean it’s not like I have a chance at becoming President one day. (Or do I??? No I don’t. They got too much dirt on me.) And if the Mayans were right then really, I’d only have a year to enjoy my new status as an EBP. However, if they were wrong, I could turn into the next CEO to need a bailout. That would be awesome. 

So I guess it’s not all for naught. Although once I get my ACCEPTANCE letters in March, I’m taking a vacation and wandering the beaches of some exotic island naked for at least a month. I’m not getting this gym membership for nothing! 

 

Good luck to anyone else who is out there grinding for higher education!

 

JG*