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as usual, i was riding MARTA this morning and this one girl stood out to me. i’m not sure if it’s because i’ve been having insecurity trips lately as well as virtual meltdowns because of my insecurities or if what because she stood out in general. so with that said, this blog, unlike my previous ones, probably won’t be so funny… more cleansing to me i guess…

it’s amazing how easy it is to recognize things about ourselves in other people. i think that’s the reason why this girl stood out to me so much. she was chubby but by no means was she what some would consider a total fat ass or anything. she was cute though. she had her hair in a mohawk and had on a tank that was goth like. i think all girls that are insecure with their bodies do the same trademark thing… she kept pulling her tank down like it was riding with every breath she took. everytime she would pull it down, she would look increasingly more uncomfortable. i do this too…

yesterday i went to the mall with my co-worker and friend. i was people watching as i normally do and noticed how many women, in all sizes, seemed so comfortable with how they looked. not that they all looked good because some of them were a downright mess, but they were comfortable enough with themselves that it didn’t matter what they looked like to others

“beauty is in the eye of the beholder”

i always that this quote was so weird but to these women with these higher levels of comfort must believe in it. it’s weird… i don’t know why i’m so hard on myself. i’ve definitely gained some weight, but i’ve also gained friends, knowledge, degrees, a husband, and so many other things that credit my character being at least decent.

but i guess we’ve all got insecurities but at what point do you let them stop controlling you? please feel free to share…


  1. Uhhh…get over ’em like today! Lol Insecurities…what is that??? No but really, I think it’s just a part of this thing called, LIFE. You’ll get over one insecurity and then another one evolves.
    Insecurities are like a never ending story…I get peace in knowing my many trials (one being insecurities) are what makes me a stronger women.

  2. Uhhh…get over ’em like today! Lol Insecurities…what is that??? No but really, I think it’s just a part of this thing called, LIFE. You’ll get over one insecurity and then another one evolves.
    Insecurities are like a never ending story…I get peace in knowing my many trials (one being insecurities) are what makes me a stronger women.

  3. Listen Here ladybug…you are beautiful. period. You have more style and class than most women I know, and your creativity and uniqueness shine so bright! There will always be someone who is prettier, thinner, smarter, has better hair, whatever. But believe me, those same women are struggling with insecurities of their own. I truly believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it’s definitely all about confidence! Do you and remember this because I live by it….the people who care don’t matter, and the one’s that matter don’t care! Luv Ya!!!

  4. Girl… u aint said nothin but a word. ALL Women go through this…. men too, if you really want to be real. Even those who are seemingly perfect on the outside, have all kinds of inner issues that you’d never know. My advice is to trust that God has given you a wonderful temple to work with…. nourish it and pray over it and take care of it. Feelings of insecurity are a trick of the enemy. When you feel as if you are inadequate, think on those things that are good (like you did in your blog). Dont succumb to these thoughts…. you’re better than that. Your blessings will always outweight your insecurities!

  5. My Love! You are beautiful in more ways than one. I am here for you to make sure these insecurities don’t consume you. Remember that you are born into this world with the ability to overcome anything. I love you!

  6. That’s all well and good, but that’s easier to say to someone else than it is to live it. I mean, really, saying “oh just know you’re beautiful,” is such a cop out. It’s like putting a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches. If it was that easy, we’d all read one self-help book and be straight.

    That doesn’t mean we can’t grow towards more security in our looks. I think the less harsh we are on other women and how they look we’ll find ourselves more understanding with ourselves. If you spend the majority of your time attacking other people, you’ll create demons about yourself on the few days you’re not feeling like Kimora Lee Simmons (or whatever beautiful person you admire).

    It takes time, and we all slip back into old bad thoughts once in a while. Something I’ve done is throw away any of my clothes that I don’t think I look AMAZING in. It’s dropped my wardrobe down considerably, but it’s also made my public image more polished and my confidence higher.

    Hope this didn’t sound too abrasive, but these are serious feelings from long-standing seeds of doubt and you don’t simply cut off the weed at the part sticking out of the ground. Got to rip out the roots.

  7. I don’t even know who you are (I found a link for it on a friend’s facebook wall) but wanted to respond to your posting just the same. I think that insecurities stop controlling you when you do the work to determine their most fundamental origin. For the most part, if you look back into your past hard and deep enough, you’ll come to find the origins of any insecurity you have. Identifying the experiences that implanted insecurities is the first step towards making peace with them and starting to love yourself, as beautiful, special and worthwhile! Good luck!

  8. I totally identify with you, but there are honestly times when I just dont give an eff. There are times when I’m pulling down shirts and skirt and pulling up pants or whatever…and then there are times when I step out and barely look at myself in the mirror.

    Everyday is a new day with a new issue and those days when I barely look at myself in the mirror, are probably the days when my mind is worrying about something thats has nothing to do with my physical.

    But girl, we all go through it. I have some beautiful friends and they worry and fret over the silliest imprfections…things that no one would notice if they didnt point it out. Listening to them, I realized that their truth is mine: I’m alright and the things that Im worried about, usually no one else can even see lol

  9. The state of you life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind. Keep telling yourself that you are beautiful and you will start to believe it. It stats within, not from the outside.

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